Stupid Punts!

Stupid Punts!

Text

Examples of the "Nigerian scam" that flood my email box everyday.

Thursday, January 17, 2008

Oh great, I have won the UK National Lottery...again!

I have lost count as to the number of times that I have won this fake lottery.

Re their information requirements, they seem to have trouble counting beyond 6.

We happily announce the results of the previous week online draws ofover 300,000 email leads where six email addresses were randomly selected and that made the email addresses automatically winners of thesum of £516,778.00 GBP.

This is meant to inform you that your email address was among the six email address chosen which therefore means to say that you are a winner of the sum of £516,778.00 GBP which will be issued in a cheque onyour name in receipt of the requested datas below.

1.FULL NAMES:________________________
2.ADDRESS:_________________________
3.SEX:________________________________
4.AGE:________________________________
5.MARITAL STATUS:_____________________
6.OCCUPATION:_________________________
7.TELEPHONE NUMBER:___________
6.OCCUonoox47:
6.OCCUPATION:_________________________
7.TELEPHONE NUMBER:___________

Contact Our Claims Agent
Name: Mr Peter Taylor
Email ukgaming01@hotmail.com

After filling the form , you are to contact the claims office with the information filled in the form for further instructions and processing of your winning through the contact email address below. Congratulations from the staffs and members of the National LotterySweepstakes U K.
Sincerely,
Lucy Baines.
online Co-ordinator

Wednesday, January 16, 2008

An unusually short scam email.

However, it goes the same way as all the other scams; namely in the bin!

Dear Friend, I am Mr Andy Tombi the Former credit manager of SNS Bank in the Netherlands now based in united kingdom. I have a proposal to discuss about a certain bonded account in SNS bank, Please contact me through my email below if you are interested to know. It will be beneficial to all parties concerned. Regards, Mr Andy Tombi Tel:+ 44-701-115-0818 Email: mrtombandy1001@yahoo.it

Tuesday, January 15, 2008

The fact that this scam email starts off by talking about a "concealed business suggestion" should alert even the most naive recipient to the fact that this is a scam.

The scammer, for good measure, then offers me a deal involving unclaimed funds allegedly belonging to a dead Iraqi general.

A scam if ever there was one!

Mr. Patrick Chan.
Email: (patriwcchan1954@yahoo.com.hk)

Good Day

I am Mr. Patrick Chan, Executive Director and C.F.O of the Hang Seng Bank Ltd. I have a concealed business suggestion for you. Gen. Samir Abi Rahman who was with the Iraqi forces and also businessman made a fixed deposit for 18 calendar months, with a value of USD$24.5 Million only in my branch.

Several maturities notices was sent to him, before the war which began in 2003. also after the war another notification was sent and no response came from him. We later found out that the General along with his wife and only daughter had been killed during the war in a bomb blast that hit their home.

After more inquiry it was also discovered that this General did not declare any next of kin in his official papers.And he also confided in me the last time he was at my office that no one except me knew of his deposit in my bank. What bothers me most is that according to the laws of my country at the expiration of 6years the funds will revert to the ownership of the Hong Kong Government if nobody applies to claim the funds.

I want you to know that I have everything planned out so that we shall come out successful. There is no risk involved at all in this matter, as we are going adopt a legalized method and the attorney will prepare all the necessary documents. Should you be interested send me the following;Full names, private phone number, current residential address and I prefer you reach me on my private email address below after which I shall provide you with more details on this operation.

Your earliest response to this letter will be appreciated.

Kind Regards,

Mr. Patrick Chan.
Email: (patriwcchan1954@yahoo.com.hk)

Monday, January 14, 2008

The improbably named "garvn wallace" sent me this missive today.

I can't but help think that he meant to call himself "Garvin".

Hello you have won 915,810.00 great british pounds. contact Mr. garvn wallace on infocashout@strompost.com for more information on how you want the prize sent to you.

Sunday, January 13, 2008

I am afraid that this scammer kind of shoots himself in the foot in his first sentence "this letter is not a hoax".

It is!

THIS IS FOR YOUR ATTENTION.

We wish to inform you that this letter is not a hoax mail. we wish to notify you AGAIN, that you were listed as a beneficiary to the total sum of £3,600,000.00GBP (Three Million Six Hundred Thousand British Pounds) in the codicil and last testament of the deceased. (Name now withheld since this is our second letter to you). We contacted you because you bear the surname identity and therefore can present you as the beneficiary to the inheritance.

We therefore reckoned that you could receive these funds as you are qualified by your name identity. All the legal papers will be processed upon your acceptance by our legal representatives. In your acceptance of this deal, we request that you kindly forward to us your letter of acceptance; your current telephone and fax numbers and a forwarding address to enable us file necessary documents at our high court probate division for the release of this sum of money. Please contact me via my private email: so that we can get this done immediately.

Kind regards,

Mr.Ben Mark.
P&M Legal Consultancy Services
Telephone +44-70457 59907

Friday, January 04, 2008

A small piece of advice to the scamming scumbag who sent me this today, claiming that I have won money in the UK Lottery.

We don't spell "organisation" with a "z".

WINNING NOTIFICATION
Batch: 074/05/ZY369
Ref: UK/9420X2/05
Your ticket number: 56475600545 188 with Serial number 5368/05 drew thelucky number: 29

Congratulations, you have just won yourself £1,000,000 in the satellite software email lottery conducted by UKFREE LOTTERY ORGANIZATION in which e-mail addresses are picked randomly bysoftware powered by the Internet.

Your email address was amongst those chosen for this New Year promo(no ticket was sold) and you are to contact our Financial Controller for Clearance.

Mrs Eunice Justice(Clearance Oficer)
Email:clearanceofficereunicejustice1@gmail.com

you are to forward the following details to enable us clear your file for immediate payment:
1. Full Names
2. Address
3. Age
4. Sex
5. Marital Status
6. Occupation
7. Phone numbers
8. Fax number
9. Country

FREE LOTTERY BOARDUNITED KINGDOM. -- UTS CRICOS Provider Code: 00099FDISCLAIMER: This email message and any accompanying attachments may containconfidential information.

If you are not the intended recipient, do notread, use, disseminate, distribute or copy this message or attachments. Ifyou have received this message in error, please notify the sender immediatelyand delete this message.

Any views expressed in this message are those of theindividual sender, except where the sender expressly, and with authority,states them to be the views the University of Technology Sydney.

Beforeopening any attachments, please check them for viruses and defects.

Thursday, January 03, 2008

The new year starts as the old one ended, with scammers still trying to con me.

This badly written laughable attempt at a scam arrived today.

What on earth does the illiterate git mean by "enroot"?

Full stops and commas also seem to pose the scammer some problems, and as to what a "lesion" office is... well that's anyone's guess!!!

The information contained in this E-mail and/or attachments may contain protected health, legally privileged, or otherwise confidentialInformation intended only for the use of the individual(s)concerned.

If you, the reader of this message, are not the intended recipient, you are hereby advised to contact me for more detailed explanation

Attn: Fund Beneficiary,

I am Robinson kuku, The Executive Director Diplomatic Delivery Department of the African Development bank , This is to inform you that my office has taking over all International Money transaction originated from all partsof African country due to the miss appropriation of fundby some corrupt officials of the apex and commercial banks and excessive demand of upfront payment by some officials of commercial and apex banks,However your Name is among two other Names short listed for fund delivery in your country through a diplomatic means,

The money would be concealed in metal boxes and could be labeled as your personal belongingso as to obtain full diplomatic immunity coverage to ensure a hitch-freedelivery,You are therefore advised to contact my office as soon as you receiveThis mail for more detailed information.

The mode of operation:

1, You are to inform me the name of your nearest International airport toenable us enroot the diplomatic ticket correctly and also mail us first and second page of your international passport or any other identification as we shall also forward copy of the diplomatic passportto you for Identification on his arrival in your air port.

2, Your presence would be needed in your airport to receive the diplomat on his arrival so that both of you would move straight to your bank in lodging the money on your behalf therefore you will sign vital documentconfirming the intact receipt of your fund.Finally, Upon confirmation of your readiness in receiving your money we shall start processing necessary documentation as regard the safe deliveryof your fund to you in your country and the keys of the boxes including the fund delivery document which would be secured in your favor would be sent to you through FedEx overnight.

Most importantly the Certificate of claims Which indicates that you are the beneficiary of this fund as contract payment, lottery winner or Inherited money(next of kin) which is already with us would be sent toyou.Up on the confirmation of this mail I will give you more information.Do also provide me with your telephone numbers for further communication.

Robinson kuku

Executive Director,
Diplomatic Delivery Department,
African Development Bank,
London

lesion office
25 Dowgate Hill
London EC4R 2SB
Tel:+44-7821157007

Friday, December 28, 2007

This scammer would have us believe that he is resident in the UK.

One small problem, so am I.

Therefore why does he write to me saying that he wants to invest in my country?

Another small issue, his email address is not UK based.

Hello,

I am Mr Whales Woods, i'm from the United Kingdom, i would love to invest in your country, I have a substantial capital i honorably intend to invest in your country into a very lucrative business venture of which you are to advise and execute the said venture over there for the mutual benefits of both of us.Your able co-operation is to become my business partner in your country. and create ideas on how money will be invested, properly managed and the type of investment Meanwhile, on indication of your willingness to handle this sincerely by protecting our interests and upon your acceptance of this proposal, I would furnish you with the full detailed information, I shall be glad to reserve this respect and opportunity for you,if you so desire, but i do urge you to give the matter your immediate attention it deserves. Looking forward to your response. you can email me on woodsm09@yahoo.es
Thanks,

Whales Woods

Tuesday, December 18, 2007

The thieving lying scumbag who sent me this scam mail must be very keen to relieve me of my money, he sent it to me 6 times this morning.

Attention: Sir/Madam

This Is To Officially Inform You about our recent agreement with theFederal Government of Nigeria to handle all their foreign contractpayments. Based on this development We Have Verified YourContract/Inheritance File And Discovered Reasons Why You Are Yet To Receive Your Payment.

It Is Because Of Irregularities And Complications Discovered On YourPayment File By Our Technical Experts In Respect To Your Contract/Inheritance Payment Requirements Which Have Just BeenDuly Rectified. However, you are hereby directed by our intelligent monitory unit tostop any further dealings With Impostors And Non- Recommended OfficialsIn The Bank.

Such Acts Must Stop For Security Reasons . If You Wish Toreceive Your Payment in time and accordingly,Since We Have Decided ToBring A Solution To Your Problem, Right Now We Have Arranged YourPayment Through Our ATM Swift Card Payment Center Of OCEANIC BANK OF NIGERIA P L C. That Is The LatestInstruction By Our President, Alhaji Umaru Musa Ya'radua (GCFR) FederalRepublic Of Nigeria. Below Is The Arrangements ;...

The Swift card Center Will Send You An Atm Card Which You Will Use ToWithdrew Your Money From Any ATM Machine In Any Part Of The World, ButThe Maximum Is (One Hundred Thousand Dollars $100.000.00) Per Day, So If You Like To Receive Your Fund This Way Please Do Let Us Know ByContacting The ATM Card Payment Center Of OCEANIC BANK OF NIGERIA P L C

1) Address Where You Want Them To Send The Card Through DiplomaticCourier Service (P.O box Not Accepted)
2) Your Full Name
3)Occupation
4) A Valid Phone Numner Where you can be reached.

We have been Mandated by the Federal Government of Nigeria to issue out$5 million as part payment for this fiscal year 2007.

For Your Information You Have To Stop Any Further Communication WithAny Institution Or Office Until You Receive The Atm Card.Note: Because of Impostors, We Hereby Issue You Our Code of Conduct TagNumber Which Is (805) So You Must Have To Indicate This Code WhenContacting The Card Center .

Email: oceanic_bnkplc09@hotmail.co.uk if there is any question contact oceanic costumers service centeroffice via

E-mail:oceanic_bnkplc09@hotmail.co.uk

We Await Your Urgent Response.

Best Regards SIR. Daniel James

Manageing Director Information Department,
OCEANIC BANK Of Nigeria P L C.
Direct Phone No 234-8026900642

Monday, December 17, 2007

I commend today's scammer for creating a fake name that is truly "inspired"!

From: Mr.Perry Analfistula
Tel: 0034 634 193 461
Email: perrya247@yahoo.es
Madrid
Spain.

Good day to you.

I am Mr. Perry Analfistula, an Accounts Clerk with one of the major banks in Spain. I came across your email address during a thorough search for a reliable and trustworthy person who can assist me carry-out a mutual and benefiting transaction in my bank. Only recently I discovered that an account belonging to a Foreign customer name Mr. T.K. Lusk has remained dormant for the past four years, after intensive investigations, I found out that Mr. Lusk, died along with his wife and only son on 12th January 2003 in a ghastly motor accident. Before he died he deposited the sum of USD25.000,000.00 (Twenty Five Million US Dollar) in our Bank here in Spain.

At this point I am contacting you concerning a business acquaintance that necessitates you to act as a new beneficiary as a next of kin to the said dormant account as I hope to give you more technical details on how we can transfer the funds into your nominated account.

Please if you are interested reach me with your personal details such as full names, address (home/office), phone numbers to enable me give you full details of our plans to success.

Reply me to this email address: perrya247@yahoo.es

Sincerely yours,

Mr.Perry Analfistula

Thursday, December 13, 2007

The Fondation De France wrote to me today to tell me that I have qualified for a donation of $1.7M.

Then, for good measure, they wrote to me again half an hour later to tell me that I have qualified for a donation of $1.7M.

It's going to be a good Christmas!

Be notified by our organization that your email id has just qualified you for the Donation of $1,650,000.00.

By this notice you are advised to contact the financialoffice for further instructions on how you are to claimyour $1,650,000.00. Please quote your Full Names, Address and qualification numbers to our Executive Sec with your Qualification number:(E-57-10747, R-456-76)

Executive Sec.
Mrs. Ashley Tyler
Email: ash_tyler01@sify.com

Finally, all funds should be claimed by their respectivebeneficiaries not later than 14 days from today.
Best Regards,
Mrs. Emily Cole

Wednesday, December 12, 2007

My thanks to the improbably named "Mrs Cherry Martins" for writing to me to tell me that I have won a lottery.

It would have been possibly more convincing had she not misspelled the subject line:

"End of Yaer Winning Notification".

The Marina Offices,
The National Lottery
P O Box 1010Liverpool,
L70 1NL
UNITED KINGDOM

(Customer Services)Ref.
Number: 132/756/4534
Batch number: 638901527-AMB/02 RE/ AWARD NOTIFICATION:
FINAL NOTICE

Sir/ Madam,

We are pleased to inform you of the lottery result winners of Laprimitiva International lottery programmes held on 15th November 2007. Results were finally released on 2nd December, 2007. For the 2007 edition.

It is a promotional program aimed at encouraging internet users; therefore you do not need to buy ticket to enter for it. Your e-mail address was attached to ticket number 27522465896-6453 with your serial number 3772-554 drew you a lucky number 1-2-3-21-23-49 which consequently won in the 3rd category,you are therefore been approved for lump sum pay out of £500,000.00 (Five Hundred Thousand Pounds).

Due to mix up of some numbers and names, you are advised to keep your winning information confidential until your claims has been processed and your money remitted to your nominated bank.This promotional programme takes place every three years.

To file for your claim, please contact our claim agent.

Mr.Robinson Cole
Tel: +44 704 572 9911
Fax: +44 870 133 7991
Email: mail@prizess.vossnet.co.uk
Official Email: infosprizes@yahoo.gr

Endevour to fill him with the below required informations
Claims Requirements:
1. FullName:______
2.Address:________
3.Age:______
4.Occupation:_______
5.Phone/Fax:____
6.Present Country:_______
7.Marital Status:_____
8.Gender:______
9.AmountWon:_____
10. E-mail address:__

Once again congratulations.
Best regards,
Mrs. Cherry Martins,
Lottery coordinator.
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