Stupid Punts!

Stupid Punts!

Text

Examples of the "Nigerian scam" that flood my email box everyday.

Wednesday, December 24, 2003

A variation on a theme.

This time it is Dutch. However, they still want my bank details; and need me to travel to Holland.

All rather implausible.


BEETO NETHERLANDS SWEEEPSTAKE LOTTERY NL
AMSTERDAM,THE NETHERLANDS.

FROM:THE DESK OF THE LOTTERYCOORDINATOR
INTERNATIONAL PROMOTION/PRIZE AWARD DEPT
REF:HWS/200319348/02
BATCH:12/204/JXS

Dear Sir/Madam,
We are pleased to inform you of the result of Email Lottery Winners
International programs held on the 12th November, 2003. Your e-mail address
attached to ticket number 2756-5211 with serial number 3067-501 drew lucky
numbers 4-39-31-45 which consequently won in the 1st category, you have
therefore been approved for a lump sum pay of $1,000,000.00(ONE US MILLION
DOLLARS)

CONGRATULATIONS!!!
Due to mix up of some numbers and names, we ask that you keep your winning
information confidential until your claims has been processed and your money
Remitted to you. This is part of our security protocol To avoid double claiming
and unwarranted abuse of this program by some participants.

All participants were selected through a computer ballot system drawn from over
20,000 company and 30,000,000 individual email addresses and names from All over
the world. we hope with part of your winning you will take part in our next year
10 millions Euro international lottery. You are therefore requested to come to
the NETHERLANDS to file for your claim, please contact our fiducial agent MR
EDMOND KEN of the,BEETO TRUST AGENCY NL for further informations

TEL:

Email:


YOU ARE HOWEVER REQUIRED TO MAKE AVIALABLE THE FOLLOWING;

1.A LEGITIMATE IDENTITY FOR IDENTIFICATION PROOF
2.YOUR BANK ACCOUNT DATA'S FOR THE TRANSFER OF YOUR CLAIM.


And please do remember, all winning must be claimed not later than FIRST OF
JENUARY 2004, After this date all unclaimed funds will be included in the next
stake. Please note in order to avoid unnecessary delays and complications please
remember to quote your reference
number and batch numbers in all correspondence. Furthermore, should there be any
change of address or appointment, do inform us as soon as possible in order for
us to make an alternative arrangement for you. Congratulations once more from
our members of staff and thank you for
being part of our promotional program.


Note: Anybody BELOW the age of 18 is automatically disqualified.
Sincerely yours,

Mrs. ROSEMARY BAKER
Lottery Coordinator.

Friday, December 19, 2003

This plonker sent me this three times today, not exactly the way to endear himself to me!

From:Mr John Mboma.

To: President/Director.

Dear Sir/Madam.

With due respect and understanding i seek your utmost trust and honesty
in this transaction.

Furthermore, I have decided to contact you in search of foreign partner,
whom I can transact Business with, without tensions and fears of been scammed.
I want you to bear this in mind that a dishonest person is not entitled
to render assistance to me.

I am Mr. John Mboma the only surviving son of a Late minister Dr Patrick
Mboma. during the reign of mobutu seseko, My father was a minister in Democratic
Republic of Congo during the reign of Late President Mobutu. Our father
was killed during the rebel attack and our house was burnt and all our
belongings
including our oil refinary in congo. We manage to escape to West Africa
with my aged Grand mother and two of my sisters where we are now taking
refuge in the refugee camp in West Africa. Before the death of my father
he deposited US$35 MILLION, with a Finance security Firm in Europe.Which
he had wanted to use for the renovation of our oil refinary in Congo.

All the documents with which the money was deposited is with my family
attorney.Upon
your reply my attorney will furnish you with more useful information that
will help understand this transaction better so as to aid a successful transfer
of this money into your nominated bank account, also sharing terms of the
money will be discuss between you and my attorney on receipt of mail.

Hoping to hear from you soon. Please contact me on this Email Address:


Kindly include your personal telephone number and fax numbers in your reply
to enhance easy communication between you and our family attorney

My Regards to your family, Thanks and God Bless.

I Remain.

Mr John Mboma.



Tuesday, December 16, 2003

I received this finely crafted message three times today; twice from Hassan and once from a John Hilary.

They have a bank account with $7M, the owner died in 1990, no one knows about it blah, blah blah...they need a foreigner (that's me!).

Risk free, of course, and the hand of God; what could be better?

This is actually an example of the double bluff; by appearing to be totally stupid and incompetent, they lull the greedy and stupid into a false sense of superiority.

Dear Sir,
I am Mr Mustapha Hassan
An eastern district senior Staff of City Credit Bank of Abidjan Branch (CCB).
There is an account opened in this bank in 1985 and since 1990 nobody has
operated on this account again. After going through some old files in the
records I discovered
that if I do not remit this money out urgently it will be forfeited for nothing.

The owner of this account was Mr. James Maurice Smith a foreigner, and the
manager of Petrol-Technical Support Services Inc., a chemical engineer by
profession and he died since 1990. No other person knows about this account or
any thing concerning it, t
he account has no other beneficiary and my investigation proved to me as well
that this company does not know anything about this account and the amount
involved is (usd7.3million dollars).

I want to transfer this money into a safe foreignerĂ¢€™s account abroad but I
don't know any foreigner, I am only contacting you as a foreigner because this
money cannot be approved to a local bank here, but can only be approved to any
foreign account becau
se the money is in US dollars and the former owner of the account, Mr. James
Maurice Smith, is a foreigner too. I know that this project will come to you as
a surprise as we do not know ourselves before, but be sure that it is real and a
genuine and risk
-free.

I only got your contact address through internet, with belief in God that you
will never let me down in this project. You are the only person that I have
contacted in this project, so please reply urgently so that I will inform you
the next step to take
urgently. Send your private telephone and fax numbers including the full details
of the account to be used for the deposit.

I want us to meet face to face or sign a binding agreement to bind us together
so that you can receive this money into a foreign account or any account of your
choice where the fund will be safe. And I will fly to your country for
withdrawal and sharing
and other investments.
I am contacting you because of the need to involve a foreigner with foreign
account as a foreign beneficiary. I need your full co-operation to make this
project fine.

Thanks.
And best regards,.
Mr Mustapha Hassan

Thursday, December 11, 2003

I read an amusing article in a newspaper yesterday. It seems that all is not well in "Scam Land".

The newspaper inerviewed one of the "scallywags" behind the Nigerian letters. He was complaining that people seem to be wising up to the fact that the letters are con tricks.

In the good old days "our boy" could make a decent living off the stupid and greedy. He claimed that he was able to run a Mercedes, several girlfriends and owned a large house.

Now, sadly, he doesn't know where his next $5000 is coming from!

Well, my heart bleeds for him and his cronies.

No doubt they will be putting their minds to developing other ways to fleece the greedy and stupid; so watch out.

Tuesday, December 09, 2003

I received a very prompt response from my "dear friend" van Oosten today.

It seems, funnily enough, that he is unable to send me £1000. Yet he kindly notes that my proposition is as good as his.

I feel mine was better, as I would have been in profit by £1000; rather than having my bank account raided by this crook.

Sir,

Your proposition is as good as mine but I don't have access to the said safe unless somebody like you can come forward for its claim as next of kin to the deceased fellow.

Thanks again for your precious time.

I remain,

Van Oosten

Monday, December 08, 2003

This "scallywag" claims to have a safe containing over $5M.

If his story is to be believed the owner has had some unfortunate mishap in a boat.

I dropped him a line pointing out that I don't conduct business with strangers, unless they advance me £1000 up front.

I eagerly await the cash dropping through my mailbox!

Dear sir,

Best compliments.I am Van der Oosten, chief operating officer finance,saving and security homes based in Europe duely registered under the companies registration and allied matters, also licensed by European securities and stock exchange.

In the early part of 2001 the organization received a family safe valued at $5.8M to its vault for security reasons from AHMAD ABDALLAH, an Egyptian national expartriate based in Europe for period of two yrs. that lapsed on March,2003 after this long expiration period of safe keeping, we decided to locate him through the contact with us but learn't of his sudden death in the Meditteranean boat mishap of June,2002 off the Alexander's coast.

Keeping with the business ethic and standard,efforts were strengthen to locate the family for the clearance of their safe but all to no avail,hence,motivates me to contact you for possible clearance of the safe to your custody with no risk involved.
If the proposal is in your best interest,do not hesitate to contact me by my email:

Thanks in anticipating your reply and Godbless.

I remain,

VAN OOSTEN

Thursday, December 04, 2003

This character writes to me asking for my assistant. I didn't know I had one!

She then goes on to say that she has "stashed" his money in a bank, defintely a high quality individual.

Naturally her husband was head of state, there seems to be a lot of these around. I assume Saddam will be writing to me soon.

From Mrs.Jewel Taylor
personal email:
First let me introduce myself,my name is Jewel Taylor,the third wife of the
ex-president of Liberia who just voluntarily stepped aside for the installment
of a new goverment in my country .
At present I and my husband have been exiled out of our country and we are
seeking refuge in a neighbouring country,where things are not really going on
fine for us.Before my husband relinquished his position as head of state,I had
just concluded a contract supply contract with the aid of a London based firm
to
supply and install computer ans electronics equipment to the tune of
$45,000,000usd to the office of the presidency.
This sum though was over-inflated and after full supply and installation,I made
a personal profit of $18,000,000 usd,which I have stashed with a security firm
in Europe.
What I require from you,is that you urgently assist me in receiving this funds
in your account as one of the contracted firms,and as such guide away interest
and attention from this money,that it belongs to me or any of my family
members.

At present all of me and my family's properties confisticated and accounts have
been frozen in Liberia,and are even still out to lay there hands on any funds
that they can trace.
Bearing this in mind,I need that you receive this funds on my behalf,after
which
I shall reinvest,a bulk of this funds in a viable business in your country and
this you shall advise upon and also run and manage on my behalf,with experience
on your side and after which I and my family
would have relocated to your country,with your assistance.
I await your response with confirmation of willigness to assist.
Thanks
J.Taylor