Stupid Punts!

Stupid Punts!


Examples of the "Nigerian scam" that flood my email box everyday.

Wednesday, August 11, 2004

It's lottery time again folks!

This time some other crappy con artist is trying to convince me that I have won a mere 500K Euros, on something called Global Lottery International.

As usual there has been "a mix up with the numbers".

Doubtless, if I were stupid enough to respond to this, I would be asked for an upfront "processing fee".

Don't fall for it, it is a con!

BACTH NO: GLNL/009842/04.
REF. NO. GLNL/107654/04

This is to inform you of the release of the GLOBAL LOTTERY INTERNATIONAL/ WORLD GAMING BOARD held on the 10th July 2004.Due to the mix up of number, the results were released on the 10th August 2004. Your E-mail attached to ticket number 56739-1 with serial number 928098-0 drew the lucky numbers of 2-6-9 which consequently won the lottery in the 2nd category. You have therefore been approved for a lump sum payout of €500,000.000(FIVE HUNDRED THOUSAND EUROS) in cash credited to file with NO.GLNL/107654/04. CONGRATULATIONS!!!

Due to mix up of some numbers and names, we ask that you keep your winning information confidential until your claims has been processed and money Remitted to you. This is part of our security protocol to avoid double claiming and unwarranted abuse of this program by some participants.

All participants were selected through a computer ballot system drawn from only only Microsoft users from over 20,000 company, and 3,000,000 individual email addresses and names from all over the world. This promotional program takes place every three years.

To begin your lottery claim, please contact the processing company that have been appointed for the processing of your wining. Please call the claiming agent Mr Luis Martins the Foreign operation manager of the appointed company,


for the processing and remittance of your winning prize money to a destination of your choice. Any claim not made before two weeks from this date will be returned to the MINISTERIAL VAN DE ECONOMIA HOLLAND. Note that all unclaimed funds will be included in the nest stake. Also in order to avoid unnecessary delays and complications, remember to quote your reference number and batch numbers in all your correspondence with Mr Luis Martins and please follow all his instructions religiously.

Furthermore, should there be any change of address do inform our agent as soon as possible. Congratulations once more from our members of staff and thank you for being part of our promotional program.

Note: Anybody under the age of 18 is automatically disqualified.
Yours Sincerely,
Veronica Hans.
Vice President, Global lottery International

Tuesday, August 10, 2004

I received an interesting email yesterday, from a visitor to this site, which highlighted a couple of issues regarding the "Nigerian scam".

Extract of the mail:


I was reading the Nigerian Scam post on your blog

Some people seem to have all the luck. I have yet to
be so fortunate as to have received even one of these
scam e-mails. A couple of people I have met here in
Nepal have, though and I pointed out to them that it
is a scam. They are pretty unsophisticated here and
the one fellow, a Buddhist monk who runs an orphanage,
was pretty far into it when I showed him accounts of
similar things on the net.

Anyway, I have never had any chance to have any fun
with any of these "people" - I use the term loosely,
as the saying goes - who would steal money from a
Nepalese orphanage. I'd like to get them to waste
some of their time, and have a computer professional
friend of mine back track their e-mails, with the
software he has, to find out where they are. I don't
see why some law enforcement agencies don't do that.
The software is readily available, an my friend uses
it regularly to trace the origin or virii he gets as
e-mail attachments. At least he traces where the
e-mails come from. Could you somehow forward me one
of the scam e-mails? I know this sounds like a weird
request, but I sometimes have a lot of time on my
hands here in Nepal and in India, and would like to
play with them to see exactly what they do. And don't
worry, even if I were that stupid, as to try and do
the scam, I don't even have a bank account, much less
enough money to open one...."

I have exchanged a few more emails with the writer, and it seems that the scammers were trying to get his friend to travel to Mumbai.

I would like to take this opportunity to warn people again about these scams:

  • The "newer" versions of the scams are targeting charities and churches, using heart wrenching stories; designed to con decent, trusting and charitable people out of their limited resources. I have said it before, and will say it again, people who prey on charities etc are SCUM.

  • I fully endorse the writer's wish to track these guys back via the net, and waste their time.

  • Another issue regarding these scams, is the invitation to meet the scammers in their home country. Under no circumstance should you ever do this. Those hapless individuals who have made the trip; have found themselves robbed, kidnapped or arrested for illegally entering the country (they then have to pay a bribe to leave!).

I hope my email chum keeps us up to date with his endeavours.

Thursday, August 05, 2004

This scammer, a certain "Mrs Benson", claims to be the link between OPEC and the Wolrd Bank in West Africa.

She claims to have $45M made from oil deals, we shall assume that she means stolen.

Needless to say the poor dear can't get her sweaty greedy little hands on the money, she needs my help.

The letter actually makes quite a good point, which the greedy morons who fall for these scams ought to bear in mind.

Now suppose for one second that the money really existed, which of course it doesn't, any transfer of that size would be monitored by international agencies such as the CIA and FBI. Large cash transfers are usually associated with money laundering illegal funds, made from drugs or terrorism.

The recipient of the money (which to repeat ad nauseam does not exist) would be on the receiving end of a visit from the MIB; not very pleasant at all!

Mrs Benson then assures me that there is no risk at all in the scheme, utter tosh!


I want you to patiently read this offer. I am MRS. ANNE BENSON the Head
of Delegation to the World Bank in West Africa. I am the linkman between
the Organization For Petroleum Exporting Countries - OPEC and the petroleum
sector in a West African country. I also attend OPEC meetings constantly
in Geneva. Through the sale of our allocated oil quota in OPEC, I was able
to make S$45.2million, which is currently deposited in a European Security
and Finance company.

I want you to assist me to claim this money as I cannot claim it directly
because I am still a Civil servant, and the code of conduct bureau forbid
me to acquire such amount of money. It is on this basis that I am contacting
you for assistance, if you will be interested; claim documents have been
processed and sent to you. The documents with which the fund is deposited
will be changed to reflect you as the new beneficiary so that you will be
Eligible to collect the fund on my behalf.

I will give you 30% of the fund for this assistance. I am aware of the international
monitoring of all large-scale financial movements after the September 11th
2001 terrorist attack on America and to avoid any state of financial investigation
I will provide a classified clearance paper from the relevant body which
will exonerate the money from either drug, money laundered or terrorist
related proceeds. Kindly respond to my proposal through this my private
on the receipt of your Email: .

I want to assure you that there is no risk attached in this transaction.
You should also provide me with your private telephone and fax numbers for
easier communication. Expecting your response.

Best regards,


Wednesday, August 04, 2004

I have said it before, and I will say it again, I think that the scammers are running out of ideas and enthusiasm.

This mail arrived today, it is a very boring story; two murders and only $3M. That's only $1.5M per corpse, come on boys you can do better than that!

Dear friend,

How are you today? I Hope life is treating you good. I am Michael Nkomo a
citizen of Zimbabwe. I am contacting from a Country here Europe where I was
given asylum this year. I just had a brief search
on the net where I found your email address and decided to seek your assistance.

I am a son of late wealthy farmer Mr. Kenneth. Nkomo from Zimbabwe who was in
partnership with late Martin Olds who was also murdered same period with my
father in April 2000. I wouldn't go much deep detailing but you can have a look
on this site if you have the time and see what kind of brutal president we have

Am appealing to you to consider the idea of assisting me in getting my fund
amounting US$3.Million Dollars left behind for me by my late father which was
safely kept in a safe box as a consignment with a
secured firm here Europe. My status will not in anyway permit me to disclose my
financial history. Meanwhile content as cash was never disclosed but as family
valuables. Arrangement to make the claims in
regards to documents is not a problem and is not risky either because is not a
stolen fund but just too much for me to handle at my present position.

Kindly email back on your decision if positive then we can talk details and you
have right as well to decline.

As I wait for your urgent response.

Michael Nkomo

Tuesday, August 03, 2004

This rather sorry excuse for a scam arrived in my mailbox today.

The writer seems a little bored with it himself; only $5M on offer, and only one dead body.

Not much of a story here.

He makes a pitiful comment about wanting to trust me.

Ho hum, well I don't trust you chum!

Dear Friend
I got your contact from an email directory and decided to contact you for

Cocody Quaters Abidjan, Cote
d'Ivoire West Africa.

I am Nicolas Paul residence in the above address.
My father's name is Dr.Paul Fofona who worked with Sierra Leone embassy in
Cote'd Ivoire for Four years before he died in the year 2003.And he was also an
agent of Gold miners associations in Sierra Leone when he was alive.

He died after a brief illness that lasted for only seven days.He believes that
his family was behind his illness.

My late father deposited the sum $5.6million us dollar in BANK here in
Abidjan.Before his death he told me that i should looking for nice person that
will help me to transfer the money in his country for investment,I will like you
to help me to transfer the this money in your country for investment. Then I
will prepare to come over to your country.I want to assure you that all
I told you about myself is a true life situation.

I have agreed to give you 25%, for your assistance, and 70% would be for me and
the other 5% would be set aside for any expenses that we may incure during the
course of this transaction. And part of my share of 70% would be invested in
your country in any profitable business proposed by you.

We have never met, but I want to trust you and please do not let me down when
this fund finally gets into your account. I will like to enter into
a written agreement with you so as to assure me that you will not convert my
fund to your private use and thereby render me useless when the fund
is finally transferred to your country.

Please if you are interested; reply this message to me enable me feed you with
more details and all necessary documentations.

Please treat this as confidential
Best regards
Nicolas Paul

Sunday, August 01, 2004

Another gut wrenching tale of terminal illness, and death has landed in my mailbox.

The scammer wants me to believe that she has a dying brother, and a devout need to fulfill the dreams of a dead doctor.

I was selected through the guidance of God, because of my humanity.

All she needs from me is access to my bank account.

No way!

I am Miss Comfort Aghe I am a Camerounian; Dr. Hung Dong Kim a Korean National
was a volunteer International Federation of Red Cross and Red Crescent Society
at the regional Headquarters in Younde, Cameroun, The Younde regional Office
cover the ICRC activities in countries around our sub-region including Akwa Ibom
a Boundary with Nigeria, where Dr Hung Dong Kim was delegated to work around
that time when the incidence of the Crisis over the Bakassi Pennisula occurred
in Cameroun, since we live at this border a number of refugees fled the region
of the Boundary between Cameroun and Nigeria, my Parents were killed, My
Brother Anthony and i were the only children of my parents, Dr H.D Kim met us
without care at the Akwa Ibom refugee Camp at the Borders between Cameroun and
Nigeria and adopted me as his Child, my Brother remained at the camp because he
was a little older.

Dr H.D Kim was a trained Medical Doctor, although he dedicated his life to
helping the underprivileged here in Cameroun, He built a Hospital which cared
for Orphanages and for treatment of the sick where Government Hospitals were
deficient, he was a good Christian, and very dedicated to God he had no child
until he died of prostrate Cancer. From money made at his Hospital, he had the
intension to set up a Foundation/Clinic for the care for Heart disease and
Cancer patients until death struck, he had already had the money (the sum of
US$3.2Million) transferred by his Bank in Cameroun (FIRST NATIONAL BANK) to a
Bank in Europe where he was to buy the medical facilities for the construction
of the Foundation and Clinic.

As his Cancer situation deteriorated we visited The University of Texas M. D.
Anderson Cancer Center in Texas USA, his health situation worsened when we
arrived home in Cameroun and died a month later February 26th.He willed much of
his Properties including the US$3.2Million deposited at the Bank in Europe, his
Clinic and Orphanage home at Douala and Akwa Ibom were willed to the local
Residents under the care of Catholic Parish in the localities.

Barrister Akeem B. Louis was his legal adviser he wrote his WILL. Because he had
no child, he dedicated much of his wealth to me and to the service of God and

Before Dr H.D Kim died Anthony was already diagnosed of a serious convulsive
illness epilepsies, he got epileptic one Friday morning close to a woman frying
oil at our neighborhood and got severely burnt, this has seriously compounded my
problems of losing my Biological parents and my Foster Parent Dr.H.D Kim.

Since I have no parents, and Anthony is almost as young as me also considering
his handicap as epileptic I am saddled with a responsibility of caring for him
with very limited resources, there is a surgery which has to be carried out on
him because of the severe burns on his face and Abdomen, which has affected his
lungs/respiratory organs, we are financially incapable of carrying out a surgery
on him, because the money is at the Bank in Europe, moreover I intend to use
much of the money to help destitute and homeless people everywhere i can, and i
have seen through my experience in life that helping out those in need was is
the only way to get justification. I could convert the fund to myself with the
intention of investing the fund abroad for my personal use but I am still very
young. I was afraid sending the money back to either the Government here in
Cameroun because I think some individuals will convert the money for their
personal use. Now the money is still at the care of the Bank in Europe.

I discovered that the only way I could have peace in my life is to do what is
lawful and right by giving out the fund to the service of Humanity the same way
Late Dr H.D Kim rescued my life at the Akwa Ibom refugee camp.

With the realization of what God has done for me through Dr Kim, I asked God to
make his choice and direct me to an honest Humanitarian or a believer in helping
the underprivileged who would invest this money at helping humanity, I have
specifically chosen you and I have the firm believe that as you invest this
money in your establishment the accruing profit will be used to the service of
those in need.

I came across your address on the Internet as I was browsing through Hospital
and Christian site because this was what Dr. H.D Kim stood for (Hospitality,
Humanity and the service of God) and as a matter of fact, it is not only you or
your ministry that I picked on the site initially, but after my fervent prayer
over it, I decided to choose you and contact you for the fund to be used wisely
for things that will glorify the name of God and help humanity.

I have notified the Bank in Europe where Dr. H.D Kim deposited the money that I
shall nominate a trustee who will contact them for the claim the fund..

I seriously need your help to enable me have the money released not only for
treatment of my Brother, but such that other people on the streets who need help
can benefit from it too, So if you know that you will sincerely use this fund
honestly for things that will glorify God's name and humanity, then do urgently
contact me back through my email and details will be given to you on how you
will be able to receive the fund in your country from the Bank in Europe.

You should also forward to me your telephone number for easy communication and
fax number should there be need to fax the Bank documents to you. Note that all
communication will be opened to Barrister Akeem B, Louis, considering my age,
his witness to the whole life of my Foster Parent Dr H.D Kim and been the Lawyer
who wrote the Will.

Your prompt response will be highly appreciated.

Miss Comfort Aghe.