Stupid Punts!

Stupid Punts!


Examples of the "Nigerian scam" that flood my email box everyday.

Friday, November 14, 2003

I would like to thank Scott (from the USA) for sending me this fine example of "scamming".

Here, as is often the case, we have a couple of dead bodies. Gold is the bait this time, as opposed to diamonds.

I am impressed that the writer had the energy to prepare such a fine "story", given the fact that she has been fasting fro seven days; must be feeling a little peckish and tired I would have thought.

However, there is only $5M on offer; not worth me raising a finger to type a response for.

I am fascinated by the use of block capitals for certain words, such as BANK.

Also, I wonder precisely what she has in mind with regard to her desire to discuss "modalities".



It is my pleasure to write you after my seven days fasting and prayers and much
consideration since I can not be able to see you face to face at first.

Being the first and the only Daughter of my father, late ALHAJI KALWA UBA from
BETE in Republic of COTE D´IVOIRE Africa I am 21years of age. My father was
limited liability cocoa and gold merchant in ABIDJAN before his untimely death
after his business trip to SWITZERLAND, to negotiate on a cocoa business. A
week after he came back from SWISS, he was assassinated with my mother by
unknown assassins.

Which my mother died, instantly, but my father died after five days in hospital,
on that faithful afternoon. I didn´t know that my father was going to leave me
after I had lost my mother. But before he gave up the ghost, it was as if he
knew he was going to die. my father, (may his soul rest in perfect peace) he
disclose to me that he deposited the sum of $5 million U.S dollars in a PRIVATE
BANK here in ABIDJAN. That the money was meant for his cocoa business he wanted
to invest in Abidjan - Côte d´Ivoire. Though, according to my father he
deposited the money in his own name .

He single handed me over the document and logging and verifying informations ,
and instructed me to seek for a life time investment partner abroad.

Now I have succeeded in locating the BANK in here and also confirmed the fund is
in there , most honest and confidentiality. Now I am soliciting for your
assistance to help me lift this money out from The BANK to your account abroad
so that we should invest it in any lucrative business in your country.

I am Waiting anxiously to hear from you so that we can discuss the modalities of
this transaction,

Thanks for your kind attention and mutual

Best regards


Monday, November 10, 2003

Here's a very friendly note, enquiring after my health etc; and offering me a share of a very large sum (over $255M to be precise).

I think that this is the largest amount I have had offered so far; anyone reading this, who has been offered more, please feel free to drop me a line.

Naturally there are a few dead bodies, membership of UNITA and of course some blood diamonds.

The letter even offers a web address (hosted by the BBC), where I can look up details of this chap's father.

I will take a wild guess here, and assume that the writer of this letter is in fact not who he claims to be.

I don't think I will be taking him up on his kind offer!


How are you? And hope all is well?

You might be surprise to receive this mail but I will like you to go through
it carefully before responding, I hope at end it will find you and your business
in the best of interest. Let me quickly introduce myself and the purpose of my
contacting you. My name is Samuel Savimbi, son of the late UNITA leader Jonas
Savimbi. My father was killed on the 22nd of February, 2002 while my mother
CATERINA has been placed under house restriction and presently in a Government
Hospital in LUENA, Capital of Mexico province in Angola and we the children are
desperately looking for a trust worthy person to assist us in this confidential
business and will at this point refer you to the information archives of.

To know more about my family. While my father was hero to so many, he was
Enemy to some who stood against Democracy as was evidenced when President Regan
gave my father a Red carpet welcome to the U.S.A.

The Abstract of the business is that my late father (JONAS MALHEIRO SAVIMBI)
deposited huge sum of money amounting to USD $255,600,000.00 realized from the
sale of Diamond with a security company in Europe in case of Death or the
unforeseen for the family. We are now been advised by a diplomat loyal to my
father to look for a trust worthy person who can receive the money from the
security company and invest into profitable business for the family because at
the moment Angola is tense despite the peace process going on.

At the conclusion of this business you will be given some certain percentage
of the total amount while some percentage will be for me and my family. I wish
to assure you that all logistic are in place for the successful conclusion of
this business deal, on receipt of your positive response I shall forward you
more details on the exact role which is required of you for the successful
conclusion of this transaction.
If you find this proposal of interest and you are in a position to assist me
in realizing this transaction.

I look forward to your earliest reply,


Samuel Savimbi.