Stupid Punts!

Stupid Punts!


Examples of the "Nigerian scam" that flood my email box everyday.

Friday, September 28, 2007

I believe that this is the longest scam letter that I have ever is of course still shite though!

Wan Yonghong
Standard Chartered Bank
Hong Kong Branch

Thank you for giving me your time. Please be patient and read my emailto you. I am a staff of Standard Chartered Bank attached in Private Bankingservices. I am contacting you concerning a customer and, an investmentplaced under our banks management 4 years ago, I contacted youindependently of our investigation and no one is informed of thiscommunication and I would like to intimate you with certain facts that I believewould be of interest to you. In 2003, the subject matter; ref:SSCB/SCB/bank/77 came to our bank toengage in business discussion with our Private Banking ServiceDepartment. He informed us that he had a financial portfolio of 8.35million United States Dollars, which he wished to have us turn over on hisbehalf. I was the officer assigned to his case; I made numeroussuggestions in line with my duties as the de-facto chief operations officer ofthePrivate Banking Service Department, especially given the volume offunds he wished to put into our bank. We met on numerous occasionsprior to any investments being placed. I encouraged him to consider variousgrowth funds with prime ratings. The favored route in my advice tocustomers is to start by assessing data on 600 traditional stocks andbond managers and alternative investments. Based on my advice, we spun themoney around various opportunities and made attractive margins for ourfirst month of operation, the accrued profit and interest stood at this point at over 10 million United States Dollars, this margin was notthe full potential of the fund but he desired low risk guaranteedreturns on investments. In mid 2004, he asked that the money beliquidated because he needed to make an urgent investment requiring cashpaymentsin Europe. He directed that I liquidate the funds and had it depositedwith a firm in Europe. I informed him that our bank would have tomakespecial arrangements to have this done and in order not to circumventdue process, the bank would have to make a 9.5 % deduction from thefunds to cater for banking and statutory charges.

He complained aboutthe charges but later came around when I explained to him the complexitiesof the task he was asking of us. Cash movement across borders hasbecome especially strict since the incidents of 9/11. I contacted my affiliate in Europe and had the funds available in mainland Europe. I undertook all the processes and made sure I followedhis precise instructions to the letter and had the funds deposited in asecurity consultancy firm, the firm is a specialist private firm thataccepts deposits from high net worth individuals and blue chipcorporations that handle valuable products or undertake transactionsthat need immediate access to cash. This small and highly private organizationisfamiliar especially to the highly placed and well-connectedorganizations. In line with instructions, the money was deposited. Hetold me he wanted the money there in anticipation of his arrival from Norwaylaterthat week. This was the last communication we had, this transpiredaround 25th February 2005. In June last year, we got a call from thesecurity firm informing us of the inactivity of that particularportfolio.This was an astounding position as far as I was concerned, given thefact that I managed the private banking sector I was the only one whoknew about the deposit, and I could not understand why he had not comeforward to claim his deposit. I made futile efforts to locate him Iimmediately passed the task of locating him to the internalinvestigations department of our bank. Four days later, informationstarted to trickle in, that he was apparently dead.

A person who suited his description was declared dead of a heart attackin Cannes, South of France. We were soon enough able to identify thebody and cause of death was confirmed. The bank immediately launched an investigation into possible survivingnext of kin to alert about the situation and also to come forward toclaim his estate. If you are familiar with private banking affairs,those who patronize our services usually prefer anonymity, but alsosome levels of detachment from conventional processes. In his bio-data form,he listed no next of kin. In the field of private banking, opening anaccount with us means no one will know of its existence, accounts arerarely held under a name; depositors use numbers and codes to make theaccounts anonymous. This bank also gives the choice to depositors ofhaving their mail sent to them or held at the bank itself, ensuringthat there are no traces of the account and as I said, rarely do theynominate next of kin. Private banking clients apart from not nominatingnext of kin also usually in most cases leave wills in our care, in thiscase; he died in testate.

What I wish to relate to you will smack of unethical practice but Iwant you to understand something. It is only an outsider to thebanking world who finds the internal politics of the banking worldaberrational.The world of private banking especially is fraught with huge rewardsfor those who occupy certain offices and oversee certain portfolios.You should have begun by now to put together the general direction of whatI propose. There is US$ 8,370,000.00 deposited, I alone have thedeposit details and they will release the deposit to no one unless Iinstruct them to do so. I alone know of the existence of this depositfor as far as the finance firm, the transaction with our deceased customerconcluded when I sent the funds to the firm, all outstandinginteractions in relation to the file are just customer services and due process.Thefinance firm has no single idea of what's the history or nature of thedeposit. They are simply awaiting instructions to release the deposit to any party that comes forward. This is the situation.

Thisbank has spent great amounts of money trying to track this man'sfamily; they have investigated for months and have found no family. Theinvestigation has come to an end. My proposal; I am prepared to place you in a position to instruct the finance firmto release the deposit to you as the closest surviving relation. Uponreceipt of the deposit, I am prepared to share the money with you inhalf and no more. That is: I will simply nominate you as the next ofkin and have them release the deposit to you. We share the proceeds 50/50.I would have gone ahead to ask the funds be released to me, but thatwould have drawn a straight line to me and my involvement in claimingthe deposit. But on the other hand, you as a foreigner and also withall the necessary legal and official documentations from me and thepresiding attorney and also with the authority vested upon me by theoriginal depositor, you would easily pass as the beneficiary with therights to claim.

I assure you that I could have the deposit released to youin a few days. I will simply inform our bank of the final closing ofthe file relating to the customer. I will then officially communicate with the finance company and instruct them to release the deposit toyou. With these two things: all is done. The alternative would be for us tohave the firm direct the funds to another bank with you as accountholder. This way there will be no need for you to think of receivingthe money from the firm. We can fine-tune this based on our interactions.I am aware of the consequences of this proposal. I ask that if you findno interest in this project that you should discard this mail. I askthat you do not be vindictive or destructive. If my offer is of noappeal to you, delete this message and forget I ever contacted you. Do notdestroy my career because you do not approve of my proposal.

You maynot know this but people like myself who have made tidy sums out ofcomparable situations run the whole private banking sector. I am not acriminal and what I do; I do not find against good conscience, this maybe hard for you to understand, but the dynamics of my industry dictatesthat I make this move. Such opportunities only come once in a lifetime. I cannot let this chance pass me by I hope you understand becausefor once I found myself in total control and face to face with mydestiny. These chances won't pass me by. I ask that you do not destroymy chance, if you will not work with me let me know and let me move onwith my life but do not destroy me. I am a married woman with 2 kids andthis is an opportunity to provide them with new opportunities. Thereis a reward for this project and it is a task well worth undertaking. I haveevaluated the risks and the only risk I have here is from you refusingto work with me and alerting my bank. I am the only one who knows ofthis situation, good fortune has blessed you with a name that hasplanted you into the center of relevance in my life. Let's share the blessing. If you find yourself able to work with me, contact me through thisemail account:

If you give me positivesignals,I will initiate this process towards a conclusion Please observe this instruction religiously. Please note again, I am ahappily married woman with two kids. I send you this mail not withouta measure of fear as to what the consequences might be, but I knowwithin me that nothing ventured is nothing gained and that success andriches never come easy or on a platter of gold. This is the one truth Ihave learned from my private banking clients. Do not betray myconfidence. If we can be of one accord, we should plan a meeting, soon. I await your response.


Wan Yonghong

Thursday, September 27, 2007

How nice of "Barrister" Williams to offer me $1.5M for having done nothing whatsoever.

Could this possibly be a scam???

Yes of course it is!



PHONE NUMBER: - +22993814889.

YOUR FULL NAME:..............................
YOUR ADDRESS:.................................
YOUR COUNTRY:.................................
YOUR AGE:.........................................
YOUR OCCUPATION:.................................
YOUR PHONE NUMBER:.............................


Tuesday, September 25, 2007

This scammer claims to have located some of Saddam Hussein's hidden millions.

I don't think so!

With a very desperate need for assistance, I have summed up courage to contact you.I am an army Sgt. from FortHood Tx. now serving with the third infantry contingent mission stationed in Iraq. I actually found your contact in a business journal. I am seeking your experience and assistance to evacuate the sum of $3.2 Million United Sates Dollars to USA or any other safe country. This is no stolen funds, and there are no risks involved.

During the third month of the raid here in Iraq, myself and some few other soldiers while conducting a routine search in a location near one of Saddam`s old palaces, uncovered large sums of money buried in barrels with piles of weapons and ammunitions which we believed must have been part of Saddam's hidden treasure. We agreed not to turn over the cash or declare it to our superiors since there is noting we could do having considered that there is no amount or kind of compensation that can make up, quantify, or justify the risks we have taken with our lives in this hell hole.
I was given the sum of $3.2 Million Dollars as my own share out of the large sums discovered, and had nowhere to conceal such bulk monies here, so I had to employ the services of a contact by a British colleague. The said contact facilitated the movement of the funds to a safer location entirely outside Iraq. One passionate appeal I will make to you is not to discuss this matter with a third party, should you have reasons to reject this offer, please destroy this email, as any leakage of this information will be too bad for me. I do not know for how long we will remain here, and I have survived two suicide bomb attacks by the grace of God.
It may be difficult for us to communicate on phone for security reasons, so as soon as I am sure you are willing to help, I will guide you with more information. But only when I ascertained your seriousness to commit your time in seeing to the success of this. We shall also discuss about percentage when it is convenient to do so,until I hear from you, more information shall be supplied to you.

Sgt. Derek George.

Tuesday, September 18, 2007

The scammer who sent me this illiterate missive claims to be British, and dying of a variety of illnesses; for good measure the scammer also claims that "her" late husband was killed in the Madrid bomb attacks in 2004.

Suffice to say, this is a scam.

My Esteem One,

Getting your contact was not an easy task because since I am not
computer literate, I ordered an expert to seek a fellow very
far away and he went to the institute of International Business
to apply and he paid them the charges.

I have also made arrange for the expenses of this proposal.
I shall make it available to you as you progress with the work I have
requested you to do for mankind.

I am Lady Toreth, married to Sir Richard Hughes an Englishman who is
dead; he died in a train bomb blast in Spain when he was going for
his medical check up in 2004.Please copy and paste this Internet
link for more information on the incident

When my late husband was alive he deposited a large sum of money in an
escrow account which were derived from his vast estates and investment
in capital market) with his bank here in UK.
Presently, this money is still with the Bank.

Recently, my Doctor told me that I have limited days to live due to the
cancerous problems I am suffering from. Though what bothers me most is
the stroke that I have in addition to the cancer.

I need you to help me in fulfilling my husband obligation which I am
presently unable to fulfill. And I do not have child of my own.

I will brief you more on your swift reply to my personal email address:

Sincerely Yours,
Lady Hughes.

Monday, September 17, 2007

This scammer is after my bank details so that he can commit identity theft and launder money (the latter would of course leave me open to prosecution).


I want to solicit your attention to recieve money on my behalf.
The purpose of my contacting you is because you live in western world.

When you reply this message,i will send you the full details and more
information about myself and the funds.
My personal email is:

Thank you.

Chen Guangyuan

Friday, September 14, 2007

The improbably named John Slaughter informs me that I am to be the recipient of $500K.

It is of course a scam, designed to trick the naive into revealing their bank account details as well as requiring an upfront "processing fee".

The Foundazion Di Vittorio has chosen you by the boardof trustees as one of the final recipients of a cash Grant/Donationfor your own personal,educational,and business

To celebrate the 30thanniversary 2007 program,We are giving out a yearly donation ofUS$500,000.00 to 40 lucky recipients, as charity donations/aid.

fill out below Form send it to the Payment Remitance Office Via email
Full Name:......
(Payment Remitance Contact)Mr .John Slaughter

Thursday, September 13, 2007

"Doctor" Samuel Nelson asks me to treat his scam email as urgent. In it he asks me to help him steal a non existent $18M from the account of a dead foreigner.

"Doctor" Nelson assures me that this act of theft would be legitimate.

However, I have done as "Doctor" Nelson asked; and "urgently" trashed his scam email.

Dear Friend,

Re: Transfer of $18,000.000. (Eighteen Million US Dollars)

We want to transfer to overseas {$18,000,000] Eighteen Million United States
dollars from Eco International Bank Nig Plc.I would like to know if you will be
capable and fit to Provide either an existing Bank account or to set up a new
Bank account immediately to receive this money, evenan empty account can
serve to receive this money as long as you will remain honest to me till the end
of this important business transaction.

I am Dr Samuel Nelson Director of Accounts Department of Eco International
Bank plc, during the course of our auditing I discovered a floating fund in an
account opened with our Bank in 2000 and since 2002 nobody has operated on
this account again, after going through some old files in the records I discovered
that the owner of the account died without a heir hence the money is floating
and if I do not remit this money out urgently it will be forfeited for nothing.

The owner of this account was Engr. Anthony Hamill, a national of your
country an Industrialist. He died since 2002 and no other person knows about
this account or anything concerning it,the account has no beneficiary and my
investigation proved to me as well that Engr. Anthony Hamill until his death
was a Manager with an oil firm in Nigeria.

I am contacting you as a foreigner because this Money can only be approved to
a foreigner with a foreign account because the money is in us dollars and the
former owner of the account Engr. Anthony Hamill is a foreigner. I am revealing
all these information to you with the belief that you will never let me down in
this business. You are the first and the only person I am contacting for the
business so please reply urgently for me to tell you the next step to take.

You should forward the following information: Your telephone/fax numbers
and your Residential address, which is also needed. You will have to give me the
assurance that when we meet, this money will be intact pending our physical
arrival in your country for sharing and disbursement of the fund which will be
35% for your assistance, 60% will be for us while 5% will be set aside to take
care of all the expenses that would be incurred by both parties during the
course of the transfer.

All I require is your honest co-operation to enable us see this deal through.I guarantee
that this will be executed under a legitimate arrangement that will protect you from
any breach of the law. Please get in touch with me by my alternative email
( immediately you receive this letter for further clarifications.

Yours faithfully,

Dr. Samuel Nelson