Stupid Punts!

Stupid Punts!


Examples of the "Nigerian scam" that flood my email box everyday.

Saturday, November 07, 2009

More dishonest, illiterate drivel from another lyingin, thieving scumbag.


I am Nicholas Blater, an attorney at law. A deceased client of mine,that shares the same last name as yours died as the result of a heart-related condition on March 12th 2005. His heart condition was due to the death of all the members of his family in the tsunami disaster on the 26th December 2004 in Sumatra Indonesia .And in the record there is no known successor to this deposit of the deceased who died without a will.See: I can be reached on ( for more information. My late Client has a deposit of Seventeen Million Five hundred Thousand Dollars ( US$ 17.500,000) left behind. this can work for both of us because you share the same Last Name

Get back to me so we can proceed on it without any delay

Best regards,
Nicholas Blater
Attorney AT Law
One America Square

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

The subject line of this appallingly illiterate piece of prose is "URGENT ATTENTION IS NEDERD FROM YOU‏"

Says it all really doesn't it?

This is in regard to outstanding paying,I am Mr.Mark Richards; the newly appointed Director United Nations; Legal Affairs,Security and Investigation,The President of the Federal Republic of Nigeria (Chief YAR`ADUA) and his Decision Making Body,The Excutive Arms of the government, has directed me to come down to Nigeria to Investigate your fund and to make sure that we approve all outstanding debts owned to Foreign beneficiaries by the goverment of Nigeria in this 2 quarter of this fiscal year 2008. This decision was taken based on the abnormalise and inability of the BANKS in Nigeria to Release your fund into your bank account; Whereby it was discovered that some Directors in Central bank of NIGERIA being the Federal Government of Nigeria were diverting foreign beneficiaries payment to another account of their choice overseas. In view of this,during our investigation i found out that; an account was submitted to divert your fund to a Germany account.

Friday, September 18, 2009

This scam is short and simple, but utter bollocks!

$6.8MILLION USD on an ATM CARD is in your favor,Contact Mrs. Linda Hillswith your NAME,DELIVERY ADDRESS COUNTRY AND PHONE NUMBER.

Thursday, September 17, 2009

This scammer is worried that I am dead. Seemingly I have funds lying dormant that I haven't collected, presumably because I am dead!

One of the most poorly written scams I have read in quite a number of days.

Motto: No Body is Above The Law
Attention Fund Beneficiary Are You Dead??????,
I Am CHIEF Tony Eke (New Chairman GFI) Chairman Global
Financial Investigation Office Nigeria, There Is Presently A Counter
Claims On Your Funds By One Mrs. Rose Morgan, Who Is Presently Trying To
Make Us Believe That
You Are Dead And Even Explained That You Entered Into An Agreement With
her,To help You In Receiving Your Fund And That Was My Reason Of
Calling/Writing For Confirmation.
So here Comes The Big Question...
Did You Sign Any Deed Of Assignment In Favor Of (Mrs. Rose
Morgan)?,Thereby Making her The Current Beneficiary With her Following
Account Details:
Bank Name : Cimb Bank Of Malaysia
Bank Address : Api-Api Centre, Lot 4/G3, 88000 Kota Kinabalu, Sabah,
Malaysia.Bank Customer
Account Number/Name : 10020069859527
Swift Code & Routine Number : Cibbmykl
Type Of Account : Saving Account
However you are to Reconfirm the below details for prove of alive
Full Name:
Full Address:
Direct Telephone:
We Shall Proceed To Issue All Payments Details to her Said Mrs. Rose
Morgan,If We do not hear from You Within The Next Two Working Days From
Lovely Greetings and congratulations in advance God bless if still alive.
Best Regards
Yours Sincerely
Executive Chairman, Chief Tony Eke (AIG rtd.)
Contact Email:

Wednesday, September 02, 2009

Despite the amusing turn of phrase, this is still a scam.

Dear Partner,

I am sending you this email through the internet with reservations, basically because you may perceive my intentions wrongly.

The issue I want to unravel to you is a very classified and sensitive one, it may be very difficult for you to comprehend, but it certainly the truth.

It involves huge sum of Fund that I want you to receive on my behalf,

On your response via my email address ( I will send you the details and more information about myself and the funds.

Yours Sincerely,

Mr. Park Kwang. (South Korea)

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Advice to this moronic scammer...learn to spell!


Due to the Network problem we have on our data base, we have discided resend the attachment letter “attachment for more instruction”

Thank you,

Tina Pettersen

Tuesday, August 04, 2009

The moronic spammer who sent me this may care to reflect on the fact that "HELPDESK" has an "L" in it!

Your Webmail Quota Has Exceeded The Set Quota/Limit
Which Is 20GB.
You Are Currently Running On 23GB Due To Hidden Files And
Folder On Your Mailbox.
Please Click the Link Below To Validate Your Mailbox And
Increase Your Quota.

Failure To Click This Link And Validate Your Quota May Result
In Loss Of Important Information In Your Mailbox/Or Cause
Limited Access To It.

Sunday, August 02, 2009

I am singularly "honoured", Paul Wolfowitz President of The World Bank has written to me!

Seemingly I am due $3M from the "Chattered" Bank (I suspect the scammer means "Chartered").

Suffice to say this is so obviously a scam. Sad to say that there are people gullible and greedy enough in the world who fall for this bullshit.

From Desk of the President
World Bank Group,



I am Mr.PAUL.WOLFOWITZ , the President World Bank Group.

Therefore, you are legally and highly notified with every absolute authorization on your funds and transaction long awaited release set up to fight against scams and frauds activities ravenging World Wide.

In a nut shell, the concerned are as follow, unpaid Contract payment, Funds Inheritance or Lottery Winning due to unauthorized/incapability of financial Institutions/security companies In releasing such huge sum of money due to Fraud, terrorist and money Laundry activities going on world wide.

This financial institute known as World Bank Group has Mandated the Chattered Bank via the desk of PROF.ASHOK SODJE funds remittance departmental head to release the long awaited funds of $3,000.000,00 (3Million United States Dollars) with interest accrue to beneficiaries through direct TELEGRAPHIC WIRE TRANSFER

Upon the provision of your Banking account details for your express funds transfer into your nominated account without any delay with every obedience to our instrcution and in line to your funds release with immediate action.

Hence your funds have cleared from Terrorist and Money laundry activities and your money will be released into your provided Banking account through Chattered Bank
As regards to this arrangement You are advised to contact the the desk of PROF.ASHOK SODJE funds remittance departmental head Direct telephone number 009 234 802 626 2996 infrom him to release and transfer your funds into your provided Banking account urgently.

You are therefore advised to forward your direct telephone numbers

Your complete name and your complete Banking details most importantly be aware that 3 Million UNITED STATES Dollars Only (US3, 000, 000.00) is due to you.

Finally ,DR FRED LUMUMBA is awaiting to receive your contact attention on your
funds Release Without any delay.

Make your contact quickly and expressly to him now irrespective of the time as he is waiting for your attention for your funds and it's transfer interest into your provided account.

Thanks for Your Cooperation.

(President) World Bank Group


Monday, July 13, 2009

This scammer, who claims to be based in the UK, might care to reflect on the fact that in the UK we don't have "boulevards" nor do we have "apartments" (we call them "flats").

He might also care to reflect on the fact that there is no such wrod as "bollyvard".

Oh, and Berkshire is not in London!

Good day,

Would you like to work from home and get paid weekly, without affecting your present job?

ALF Cosmetics Company needs a book-keeper in your state to be part of its financial team. You are to work at home andget paid weekly without leaving or affecting your present job.

ALF Cosmetics Company is primarily a Skin Care company based in the UK,we need someone to work for the company as a representative/book keeper in the States. We make products like Cellex-C Products, DCL Products, DDF Skincare,Jan Marini Skin Care, which of course, we have various customers we make supplies to weekly in the States.


This is in view of not having an office presently in your Country.You dont need to have an Office and this certainly wont disturb any form ofwork you have going on at the moment. BENEFIT IS AS FOLLOWS:-* The average monthly income is about $4000 USD....* No form of investments from you....* This job takes only 1-3 hours per day....* You do not pay any form of taxes.... If you are interested in being our representative please write back to this email:....{} with the informations asked below to start receiving payments from our customers and start cashing right away.

Kindly Fill out the form below and we will be glad to get back to you within 12 hours.

Full Name........
Contact Address........
Zip Code.........
Home Phone.......
Cell Phone...........

Best Regards,

Dr.Andrew ALF Cosmetics Company
Holy Bollyvard,
14 Apt 1d,
Victoria Street
SL4 1Yb
London U.K

Thursday, June 18, 2009

A scam if ever I saw one!

HM Revenue & Customs
Crownhill Court
Tailyour Road

Dear Applicant,

We are pleased to notify you of the result of the HM Revenue & Customs program held on the 15TH June 2009.You have therefore been approved for a sum payment of 168,240.00 GBP only, payable in Lloyds TSB cashiers check credited to security credited file numbers GWK/558B/5355/UAD in the United Kingdom.

Due to the security, we ask that you keep all information confidential until your claim will be processed and your money remitted to you.


Complete and print the form attached and send to and allow us 3-9 business days in order to process it.

Lloyds TSB BANKUnited KingdomAccount ManagerMs. Kelly Campbellinfo@lloydstsbprize.com0945 100 9005 Your tax file number (TFN): 8 2 1 0 8 4 4 7 9

This will enable the office to verify your claim.


HM Revenue & Customs
Crownhill Court
Tailyour Road

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

A marvellously badly written scam mail, even by Nigerian scam standards!

Greetings My Dear

It is my pleasure once again to thank you and show appreciation for your effort's,I have made arrangement to send to you the sum of $1.2 (One Million Two Hundred Thuosand US Dollard) which I kept for you as a compensation for all the past efforts and attempts to assist me in this matter.

Now, I am given you this sum due to your previous patispection. you will need to contact Rev lucky goodman in Cotonou Benin Republic

his name is:Rev lucky goodman
Best Regards.

ki ban moon

Saturday, May 09, 2009

A scam that is pithy and to the point.

However, it is still a scam and as such utter bollocks!


My name is captain David Walker, I am an American soldier, I am serving in the military of the 1st Armored Division in Iraq, I have a transaction I want to introduce to you. If you know you can handle it, do get back to me as soon as possible.

Yours faithfully,

David Walker

Thursday, April 16, 2009

The improbably named Adams St. Michael has sent me an illiterate and misspelled email from Nigeria, suffice to say this is a scam.

Hello my friend,

I am Mr. Adams St.Michael.I work for NNPC-Nigeria. We Have an over-invoiced $28.6M to be transfered to your account in Portugal.SHARES,30% for you the acct owner and 70% for us.NOTE:Civil servants do not operative foreign acount hence this contact.We ve perfected arrangement & no risk involved.We ll come for our shares once transfer is successfully made to your acct.

Yours Sincerely,

Adams St.Michaels

Tel:234 706 121 6502

Monday, March 16, 2009

Without a doubt, this is the most long winded and tedious scam email I have ever received.

Dear Friend, I am Frits Seegers, Chief Executive at Barclays.I am contacting you concerning a deceased customer William Nathan,and an investment he placed under our banks management.I would respectfully request that you keep the contents of this mail confidential and respect the integrity of the information you come by as a result of this mail. I contact you independently and no one is informed of this communication.I would like to intimate you with certain facts that I believe would be of interest to you. In 2005, the subject matter came to our bank to engage in business discussions with our private banking division. He informed us that he had a financial portfolio of 2.35 million British Pounds Sterling, which he wished to have us turn over (invest) on his behalf.I was the officer assigned to his case, I made numerous suggestions in line with my duties as the de-facto chief operations officer of the private banking sector, especially given the volume of funds he wished to put into our bank. We met on numerous occasions prior to any investments being placed. I encouraged him to consider various growth funds with prime ratings. The favored route in my advise to customers is to start by assessing data on 6000 traditional stocks and bond managers and 2000 managers of alternative investments. Based on my advice, We spun the money around various opportunities and made attractive margins for our first months of operation, the accrued profit and interest stood at this point at over 4 million British Pounds Sterling, this margin was not the full potential of the fund but he desired low risk guaranteed returns on investments. In mid 2006, he asked that the money be liquidated because he needed to make an urgent investment requiring cash payments.He directed that I liquidate the funds and have it deposited with a security firm. I informed him that Barclays would have to make special arrangements to have this done and in order not to circumvent due process, the bank would have to make a 9.5 % deduction from the funds to cater for banking and statutory charges. He complained about the charges but later came around when I explained to him the complexities of the task he was asking of us. I undertook all the processes and made sure I followed his precise instructions to the letter and had the funds deposited with a security consultancy firm. This security firm is an especially private firm that accepts deposits from high net worth individuals and blue chip corporations that handle valuable products or undertake transactions that need immediate access to cash. This small and highly private organization is familiar especially to the highly placed and well-connected organizations. In Line with instructions, the money was deposited with them.He told me he wanted the money there in anticipation of his arrival from Norway later that week. This was the last communication we had, this transpired around 25 th February 2007. In June last year, we got a call from the security company informing us of the inactivity of that particular portfolio. This was an astounding position as far as I was concerned, given the fact that I managed the private banking sector I was the only one who knew about the deposit at the security company, and I could not understand why our client had not come forward to claim his deposit.I made futile efforts to locate him. I immediately passed the task of locating him to the internal investigations department of Barclay. Four days later, information started to trickle in, apparently our man was dead. A person who suited his description was declared dead of a heart attack in Canne, South of France. We were soon enough able to confirm all of this including cause of death. The bank immediately launched an investigation into possible surviving next of kin to alert about the situation and also to come forward to claim his estate. If you are familiar with private banking affairs, those who patronize our services usually prefer anonymity, but also some levels of detachment from conventional processes. In his bio-data form, he listed no next of kin. In the field of private banking,opening an account with us means no one will know of its existence,accounts are rarely held under a name; depositors use numbers and codes to make the accounts anonymous. This bank even gives the choice to depositors of having their mail sent to them or held at the bank itself, ensuring that there are no traces of the account and as I said, rarely do they nominate next of kin. Private banking clients apart from not nominating next of kin also usually in most cases leave wills in our care, in this case; our now deceased client died in testate. In line with our internal processes for account holders who have passed away, we instituted our own investigations in good faith to determine who should have right to claim the estate. This investigation has for the past months been unfruitful. We have scanned every continent and used our private investigation affiliate companies to get to the root of the problem. It is quite clear now that our dear fellow died with no known or identifiable family members. This leaves me as the only person with the full picture of what the prevailing situation is in relation to the deposit and the late beneficiary of the deposit. According to practice,the security company will by the end of this year broadcast a request for statements of claim to Barclays, failing to receive viable claims they will most probably revert the deposit to Barclays. This will result in the money entering the Barclays accounting system and the portfolio will be out of my hands and out of the private banking division.This will not happen if I have my way. What I wish to relate to you will smack of unethical practice but I want you to understand something. It is only an outsider to the banking world who finds the internal politics of the banking world aberrational. The world of private banking especially is fraught with huge rewards for those who sit upon certain chairs and oversee certain portfolios. You should have begun by now to put together the general direction of what I propose. There is 2,350,000.00 deposited in a security company. This bank has spent great amounts of money trying to track the deceased"s family; they have investigated for months and have found no family. The investigation has come to an end. My proposal; I am prepared to furnish the necessary details to you as the closest surviving relation. Upon receipt of the deposit, I am prepared to share the money with you in half. That is: When the bank simply nominate you as the next of kin and the deposit to you.We share the proceeds 50/50. We can fine-tune this based on our interactions.I am aware of the consequences of this proposal.I ask that if you find no interest in this project that you should discard this mail.I ask that you do not be vindictive and destructive.If my offer is of no appeal to you, delete this message and forget I ever contacted you. Do not destroy my career because you do not approve of my proposal. You may not know this but people like myself who have made a tidy sum out of comparable situations run the whole private banking sector. I am not a criminal and what I do, I do not find against good conscience, this may be hard for you to understand, but the dynamics of my industry dictates that I make this move. Such opportunities only come ones way once in a lifetime.I cannot let this chance pass me by.For once I find myself in total control of my destiny.This chance wont pass me by. I ask that you do not destroy my chance, if you will not work with me let me know and let me move on with my life but do not destroy me.I am a family man and this is an opportunity to provide them with new opportunities.There is a reward for this project and it is a task well worth undertaking.I have evaluated the risks and the only risk I have here is from you refusing to work with me and alerting my bank. If you give me positive signals,I will give you the relevant details and initiate this process towards a conclusion. Please, again, note I am a family man,I have wife and children.I send you this mail not without a measure of fear as to what the consequences, but I know within me that nothing ventured is nothing gained and that success and riches never come easy or on a platter of gold.This is the one truth I have learned from my private banking clients. Do not betray my confidence.I await your response. Sincerely, Frits Seegers

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Straw Scammed

It seems that even intelligent people can be scammed by the scammers, according to this article from The Times.

The phones began to ring in Jack Straw's constituency office late last week, and the questions that the callers asked were always the same: was the Justice Secretary really stranded in Africa with no wallet? And did he really need $3,000 to get home?

No, and no, replied baffled officials. It was some time before they realised the truth - that Mr Straw, who as Home Secretary once launched a National Hi-Tech Crime Unit to crack down on computer hackers, had himself become the victim of Nigerian internet fraudsters.

The culprits had gained access to a Hotmail account that Mr Straw used to reply to questions from voters in his Blackburn constituency, by the simple expedient of sending a phishing email claiming that the email account would be suspended unless a reply was sent.

Perhaps unwisely, somebody in Mr Straw's office fell for it and sent a reply last Thursday. This gave the fraudsters enough information to hack into the account and glean the names of hundreds of Mr Straw's contacts in his online address book, ranging from Labour party members to council bosses.

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Soon afterwards, bogus emails with the official heading The Right Hon Jack Straw MP began pouring into e-mail inboxes around Blackburn.

Startled voters found themselves reading a personal plea from the Justice Secretary for help after finding himself stranded while visiting Lagos, the Nigerian capital, for a project called Empowering Youth To Fight Racism.

“I misplaced my wallet on my way to the hotel where my money and other valuable things were kept," the fake Mr Straw wrote.

“I would like you to assist me with a soft loan urgently to settle my hotel bills and get myself back home.”

This week Mr Straw confirmed the incident, in an interview with his local newspaper, the Lancashire Telegraph, but attempted to make light of it.

“I started getting phone calls from various constituents asking if I was really in Nigeria needing $3,000.

“It was an issue for constituents, not the Government. We are checking all that and I am assured there’s no evidence that confidentiality of constituents was affected.”

He added that there were no security issues relating to his Cabinet post as the attempted fraud related to addresses stored in his Blackburn email account rather than a ministerial one.

“A lot of work goes on by the serious organised crime organisation in this country," philosophised Mr Straw.

“The internet is wonderful in many ways, but these gangs put a lot of effort in because they make money from it.

“In a lot of cases they do get people to cough up. But I think it was so obviously ridiculous that I could go off trekking in Africa and I would lose my wallet.”

One constituent is believed to have replied to the email, but - in what may be a blow to Mr Straw's self esteem - nobody offered any money.

The account was later suspended by Microsoft officials.

Friday, February 20, 2009

How these scammers keep trying.

Suffice to say, Miss Cynthia will not be hearing from me!

Hello With Love.
my name is Cynthia I saw your contact today,and
i am interested, please i would like to know you more
remember age or distance does not matter but what matters is true love,for further communication contact me enable me to explain myself well to you and as well send my pictures for you to know whom i am. Thanks
And Remain Blessed. Yours New Friend
Miss Cynthia

Monday, February 16, 2009

This scammer claims to represent the UK National Lottery, and states in the subject line of the email that I have "won".

It is a pity his email is in poor English, and that the address shows that he has sent it to a list of many people. These "subtle" clues, that and the fact that I don't play the lottery, lead me to conclude that it is of course a scam.

Please find the attactment I send to you
I will be waiting for your favorable respond.
Yours Faithful,

Friday, February 06, 2009

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Nul points to the moronic scammer who sent me this.

Aside from the fact that I don't have an Alliance and Leicester account, his fundamental mistake was misspelling the name of the bank in his email address:

Allaince & Leicester (


Dear Customer,

We are currently updating our online banking services, and due to this
upgrade we sincerely call your attention to follow below link and reconfirm
your online account details. Failure to confirm the online banking details
will suspend you from accessing your account online.

Due to this, you are requested to follow the provided steps and confirm
your Online Banking details for the safety of your Accounts.

Click Here

We use the latest security SSL measures to ensure that your online
banking experience is safe and secure. The administration asks you to
accept our apologies for the inconvenience caused and expresses
gratitude for cooperation.

Thanks for your co-operation,
Alliance & Leicester Internet Banking

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Advice to the scamming thieving twat who sent me this pathetic phish.

Learn to write and spell in decent English!

Dear Online Banking Customer,

We have improved a new security feature for the e-banking accounts owned by our clients - called "Associate your E-Banking account with your unique IP Adress".To be able to use it and register your unique IP Adress,you must update immediately your account information in this way being sure that nobody besides you will be able to access your e-banking account from now on.To update your account information,please login from the link below :

Attention !!!

If you won't update your personal account information in 24 hours,your account will be limited.This can cause a lot of time wasted which we believe that it doesn't brings any beneficies at all.

Barclays Bank PLC. Registered in England. Registered No: 1873567