Stupid Punts!

Stupid Punts!

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Examples of the "Nigerian scam" that flood my email box everyday.

Sunday, June 06, 2004

I received this little gem today, entitled "can you be trusted?".

Mr Savimbi, who has written to me before (guys if you are going to operate a scam, at least keep records of who you have written to; and what story you have tried to peddle), states that his letter will have come as a surprise (not really!).

He asks that I should not be alarmed about his present family troubles; no sweat, I'm not alarmed at all.

He claims to have got my name through an uprooted search on the net, what on earth is an "uprooted search"?

His father is dead and left him some money, made from the diamond business; were this story to be true you can be assured that the money from the diamonds would be "blood money", where the poor sods who dig the stones up do so with a rifle butt to their heads.

However, rest assured, there are no diamonds; and most certainly there is no money.

The one oddity about this letter is that he does not mention a sum of money; normally it would be above $10M, but here he just refers to a large sum. Clearly our boys in Nigeria are getting lazy with their lies.

The other oddity is that he asks me to come to collect the money myself, but assures me of the safety of this exercise. I can assure you, nothing on the planet would get me to travel out to meet him and his associates, most certainly it would be a one way trip.

You ask Mr Savimbi, if you can trust me; the real question is can I trust you?

The answer is NO, because you are a lying SOB who should be rotting in jail.

Goodday,
I know that this letter will come to you as a surprise due to the fact that we
have not yet met each other before, but please I will like you to consider my
present family troubles and be rest assured that there is no cause for alarm.
Please put yourself in my position and help me the way you will expect people to
assist you to redeem your family's wealth. It is my humble pleasure to write
this letter irrespective of the fact that you do not know me. However, I came to
know of you in my private search for a reliable and trustworthy person that can
handle a confidential transaction of this nature in respect of this, I got your
contact through an uprooted search on the internet. Though I know that a
transaction of this magnitude will make any one apprehensive and worried, but I
am assuring you that all will be well at the end of the day I am Mr. David
Savimbi, son of the late rebel leader Jonas Savimbi of Angola who was killed on
the 22nd of February 2002. Presently, I am de
sperately looking for a trustworthy person to assist me in this confidential
business.
My late father, Jonas Savimbi lodged huge sums of money realized from the sales
of diamonds and other precious stones / metals in different banks in Overseas.
My father is presently no more, and the movement of his family members
(including me) is highly restricted, all his bank accounts and properties have
been frozen and seized. We are forbidden to either travel abroad or out of our
immediate localities. Presently, I have just discovered a huge deposit made by
my father from the money realized from the last sales of diamonds before is
death .

My father had deposited this money as diplomatic consignment with a security
firm in Oversea, I have called the security firm and they have confirm to me
that the consignment is with them. I have all the documents with me right now
that is be needed to collect the consignment from the security firm, my father
has instructed the security firm in his deposit request to release consignment
to any three family members which includes myself, my mother and only sister
who is also dead incase of emergency or death.Right now my family has given me
the authority to do everything possible to get the consignment out as this is
the only hope we have now to bring the family out of its present poor financial
state.
I am therefore soliciting your help to have this consignment collected by you
and the funds transferred into your account. I will give you all the necessary
documentations to facilitate your collection of the consignment personally. The
government has no or will never have knowledge of this business, so there is no
need to be worried about your safety. I guarantee you your safety.Once I have
your complete assurance that you can handle this, I will immediately send to you
the relevant documents that will enable you take possession of the consignments.
This will include certificate of deposit and shipment airway bill and all other
relevant documents.
However, in return for all your assistance we have decided to offer you 15% of
the total amount of money as your share and 5% for all your expenses which will
include your travel expenses and every other expenses you incure in the cause of
this transaction, such as your telephone bills etc,this makes a total of 20% my
family has agreed to give to you for helping us secure the money. I am waiting
for your response to enable us proceed.
PLEASE REPLY TO MY CONFIDENTIAL EMAIL ADDRESS :
Regards,
David Savimbi


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