Stupid Punts!

Stupid Punts!


Examples of the "Nigerian scam" that flood my email box everyday.

Thursday, December 21, 2006

A scammer claiming to represent a Nigerian bank, how very plausibile!

I am Accountant Mr,David S. Perry ,Director,
Foreign operations Department.Oceanic Bank International PLC
My office
monitors and controls the affairs of all banks and financial
institutions in Nigerian concerned with foreign claim payments.I am
the final signatory to any transfer of huge funds
moving within banks
both on the local and international
levels in line with foreign claim
settlement.I have before my list of funds, which could not be
transferred to some nominated accounts as these accounts have been
identified either as, unclaimed deposits and over-invoiced sum etc.
wish to have a deal with you as regards to remit the fund into your
account,if you are ready to transact with me,send all your information
for further development:Full name,Residence home address,and contact
phone number for easy communication.
As it is my duty to recommend the
transfer of these surplus funds to the Federal Government Treasury and
Reserve Accounts as unclaimed deposits, I have the opportunity to
write you based on the instructions I received from the Foreign
reconciliation dept to submit the List of payment reports/
expenditures and
audited reports of revenues.
Mr,David S. Perry

Tuesday, December 19, 2006

Clearly this scammer is a fan of Charles Dickens, and his seasonal story "A Christmas Carol", that is why I assume she/he is invoking Tiny Tim's salutation "God Bless".

Dickens fan or not, this is of course a scam and should be dispensed with in the same manner that Scrooge dispensed with the charity collectors.

My name is Mrs. Aisha Yusuf ,widow to late
Dr Ishmeal Yusuf fomer owner of Petroleum and
Gas company ,here in Bahrian.I am 68years old,
suffering from long time cancer of the breast.
From all indications my condition is really
deteriorating and it's quite obvious that I
won't live more than 2 months according to my
doctors.This is because the cancer stage has
gotten to a very bad stage.i dont want your
pity but i need your trust.
My late husband died early last year from heart
attack, and during the period of our marriage we
couldn't produce any child. My late husband was
very wealthy and after his death,I inherited all
his business and wealth.The doctor has advised
me that I will not live for more than 2 months,
so I have now decided to spread all my wealth,
to contribute mainly to the development of
charity in Africa, America, Asia and Europe.
am sorry if you are embarrased by my mail.
i found your e-mail address in the web
directory,and i have decided to contact you,
but if for any reason you find this mail
offensive,you can ignore it and please
accept my appology.
before my late husband died he was a major oil
tycoon,in kuwait and deposited the sum of 80
million dollars (Eigthy million dollars)
in a company some years ago,thats all
i have left now,i need you to collect this funds
and distribute it yourself to charity .
so that when i die my soul can rest in peace.the
funds will be entirely in hands and management.
i hope God gives you the wisdom to touch very
many lives,that is my main concern.
10% of this money will be for your time and
effort and 5% will be for any miscellanous expenses that may occur during the process of transfering the fund while 85% goes to charity.PLEASE REPLY ME THROUGH MY PERSONAL

God bless you.
Mrs.Aisha Yusuf.

Monday, December 18, 2006

How nice, a fake lottery "win".

Just in time for Christmas!

Dear Winner


(Batch # UML010/C2)
(Ref. # 428/77/UML)

We are pleased to announce you one of the ten lucky winners in the
lucky day
Lotto draw held
yesterday 14-12-2006 .All ten winning Addresses were randomly
from a batch of
fifty thousand international Email addresses. Your email address emerged
alongside nine
as category two Winners
in this year's Annual lucky day Lotto Draw.
Consequently, you have therefore been approved for a total pay out of
5oo,ooo.oo(five hundred thousand euros) only.

Contact the under listed claims officer via email
as soon as possible for the immediate release of your winnings.

Complete Solutions Ltd



Your fund is currently deposited with the paying Bank.
Your ref and batch numbers as stated above, are the key to your winning.Please keep it safe and
handy as you make contact to claim your prize.

Winners are advised also to keep this award confidential until prize are
claimed to avert the incidence of impersonation by unscrupulous elements.

Please note also that all claims are
nullified after 20 working days from today,15-12-2006.

Once again on behalf of all our staff.


Paul Green
Promotions Manager
The Lucky day Lotto Company

The Lucky day Lotto Awards is proudly sponsored by the Microsoft
Corporation, the Intel Group, Toshiba, Dell Computers,Mackintosh and a
Conglomeration of other international IT companies.

The Lucky day lotto Internet Draw is held once in a year.It is so
organized to encourage the use of The Internet and computers worldwide.

Friday, December 15, 2006

This illiterate scumbag of a scammer informs me that he has prayed for me, to God and Allah.

How very kind of him!

Doesn't he know the God and Allah are the same?

The scumbag goes on to say he wants me to help him commit fraud, by pretending to be the next of kin of a dead man.

Piss off!

From The Desk Of Rahim Salim
Senior Staff In File Department,
African Development Bank A.D.B
Ouagadougou Burkina-Faso
West Africa.
This is my private e mail
Private Number......00226 76 00 62 79.

Compliment Of The Season,

On a very good day. I am (Rahim Salim) a senior staff in file department in African developent bank (ADB).I got your contact from a Yahoo google Search.

When i was searching for a foreign partner i assured of your capability and reliability to champion this businees opportunity when i prayed to God or Allah about you.In my department we discovered an abandoned sum of $ 25 million U.S.A dollars . In an account that belongs to one of our foreign customer who died along with his entire family in (friday december 26,2003 ) in a plane crash. Since we got information about his death,

we have been expecting his next of kin to come over and claim his money because we cannot release it unless somebody applies for it as next of kin or relation to the deceased as indicated in our banking guidelines, but unfortunately we learnt that all his supposed next of kin or relation died alongside with him at the plane crash leaving nobody behind for the claim. It is therefore upon this discovery that I and one official in my department now decided to make this businness proposal to you and release the money to you as the next of kin or relation to the deceased for safety and subsequent disbursement since nobody is coming for it and we dont want this money to go into the bank treasury as unclaimed bill.

The Banking law and guideline here stipulates that if such money remained unclamed after five years, the money will be transfered into the Bank treasury as unclaimed fund. The request of foreigner as next of kin in this business is occasioned by the fact that the customer was a foreigner, and a Burkinabe cannot stand as next of kin to a foreigner. We agree that 30 % of this money will be for you as foreign partner, in respect to the provision of a foreign account, 10 % will be set aside for expenses incured during the business and 60 % would be for ;me and my woman colleague. There after I and my colleague will visit your country for disbursement according to the percentages indicated.

Therefore to enable the immediate trnansfer of this fund to you as
arranged, you must apply first to the bank as relations or next of kin of the deceased indicating your bank name, your bank account number, your private telephone and fax number for easy and effective communication and location where the money will be remitted.Upon receipt of your reply, I will send to you by fax or email the text of the application I will not fail to bring to your notice that this transaction is hitch free and that you should not entertain any atom of fear as all required arrangements have been made for the transfer.

You should contact me on my number 00226 76 00 62 79 .immediately as soon
as you receive this letter. reply me with this e mail address immediately.

Yours faithfully,

Rahim Salim

POST SCRITUM:You have to keep everything secret as to enable the transfer to move very smoothly in to the account you will prove to the bank.As you finished reading this letter call me immediately so that we discuss very well over this business.Please call me and inform me that you received my mail, because i don't go to net always.

Tuesday, December 12, 2006

This scum bag of a scammer claims that he has worked with Nelson Mandela, and that he has in his possession $21M left over from the South African football lobbying fund.

He wants me to help him steal this money.


Sub-Committee on Finance
South African World Cup Bid 2010
24 Steven Bikko Blvrd Pretoria,
Republic Of South Africa.
Tel : +27-79-109-0941 .

Attn: Ceo,
Greetings, you must be aware now that my country The Republic of South Africa
won the bid to host the world cup by 2010,prior to this bid my committee was
mandated to lobby the members of board of Federation International Football
Association (FIFA) on selection of the country to host the world, the bidding
was intensive but at the end we got the hosting right. My committee was given
the sum of $29 million dollars tolobby the members of the FIFA ruling body to
make sure that we win the hosting right considering the gain that comes with the
hosting right like South Africa’s economy will receive a massive direct boost
from hosting the2010 World Cup, financial impact report for South Africa's World
Cup bid committee shows that the 2010 World Cup will pump R21.3-billion into
South Africa's economy, and creating an estimated 159 000 new jobs.

With the help the living legend of our time 85-year-old Nobel Peace Prize
winner Dr. Nelson Mandela who made an emotive case for The Republic of South
Africa, we got the bid without spending all the money, I and my committee
members saw this as a God sent opportunity to secure our future and that of our
family therefore was mandated by other committee members to look for a way to
move the remaining money to a safe place with the help of a foreigner who we
can trust and is ready to assist us to move the funds considering the fact that
we are still members of the bid committee and in the eyes of the public. We
have in our possession the sum $21millon since we spent just $8million for
lobbying. We are ready to give you 20% for all your assistance then me and my
colleagues will keep 80% lf you are willing kindly reply to my letter for
further directive. we will want to invest our share into Real-estate and air
taxi business in your country with your assistance,bearing
in mind that confidentiality is of great essences so is time in this project
I will await your response.

Mr.Williams Muyeke
All responses should be sent

Thursday, December 07, 2006

The scammer here says that I must donate 10% of my "winnings" to charity.

How laudable!

Unfortunately 10% of nothing is, er, nothing!

POSTBUS 3045, 28008 PC,
(Customer Services)
Attn; REF NO; ILPB642857301
In view of the yearly sweepstake of the above named organization held
on the 30th of November,2006.It is my pleasure to inform you that your e-mail
address attached to the above Ref No, ticket star number (45407),serial
number 51622, Draw lucky numbers 3-18-23-40-41-53-63, batch number
EULO/2907/444/908/06 came up in the first dip.
This invariably means that you have emerged as the prize recipient in
the first category with an allocated sum of Nine Hundred and Seventy
Five Thousand United States Dollars(US$975.000.00). Be informed that all
participants were selected from a randon computing ballot system.
This charitable sweepstake is sponsored by a group of corporate
organizations and governmental parastatals drawn from major cities in
As a matter of principle,you are to donate at the minimum one tenth of
the fund to an outstanding charity project in your locality,after the
reception of your fund.
To file for your claim and other enquiries,contact the designated
fiducial consultant: Mr. JOSE ANTONIO-MIGUEL;
Contact Email:,Tel: 0034-638-319-750 / 011-34-638-319-750
Please note all winning must be claimed not later than 30 days,
once more
Faithfully yours'
Mrs. Barbra Sullivan

Wednesday, December 06, 2006

How much more plausible this might have been, if only they hadn't sent the same winning notice to all of my various email accounts at the same time!

Maybe I should claim for every one of the "prizes" that I am meant to have "won"?

I think not!




Attn; REF NO; ILP61693628-09,

In view of the yearly sweepstake of the above named

organization held on the 1st of December,2006.It is my pleasure to

inform you that your e-mail address attached to the above Ref No
up in the third dip.
This invariably means that you have emerged as
prize recipient in the third category with an allocated sum of
Hundred and Fifty Thousand United States Dollars(850.000.00USD).
informed that all participants were selected from a random

computing ballot system.
This charitable sweepstake is sponsored by a
group of
corporate organizations and governmental parastatals drawn
major cities in Europe.
As a matter of principle, you are to
donate at the
minimum 10% of the fund to an outstanding charity
project in your
locality, after the reception of your fund.
To file
for your claim and
other enquiries, contact the designated fiducial
consultant; Mrs
Natalia Antonio;(

Congratulations once more
Faithfully yours'
Maria Lopez (Mrs)

Ensure that your Ref No is sent in your application to the above
designated office.

Tuesday, December 05, 2006

Great, £250K for doing no work at all!

The scammer here even has the same surname as me.

The money would have come in handy for Christmas. Unfortunately there is no money, just a greedy dishonest scammer trying to trick the stupid and greedy into parting with their bank details and a "processing fee".

Happy days.I'm happy to inform you about my success in getting those funds
transferred under the cooperation of a new partner from London. Presently i'm in London for investment projects with my own share of the total sum. meanwhile,i didn't forget your past efforts and attempts to assist me in transferring those funds despite that it failed us some how.

Now contact Mr frank frost in London,on
ask him to send you the total of £250,000.00 which I kept for your compensation for all the past efforts and attempts to assist me in this matter. I appreciated your efforts at that time very much. so feel free and get in touched with Mr Frank Frost and instruct him where to send the amount to you.

Please do let me know immediately you receive it so that we can share the joy after all the sufferness at that time. in the moment, I am very busy here because of the investment projects which me and the new partner are having at hand, finally, remember that I had forwarded instruction to the banker on your behalf to receive that money, so feel free to get in touch with him (FRANK FROST), he will send the amount to you without any delay.

Yours Faithfully.

Friday, December 01, 2006

Not all scammers are based in Nigeria.

REF Number:FAQ/231-ILGI0431/05
TICKET No:20511465463-7644
SERIAL No: 472-9768-98
LUCKY No: 8-66-97-22-65-99
SCFN No: ABN/5333/025648/03UA.
Sir, Madam
we are pleased to inform you of the result of the Lottery Winners International programme held on the 30th of November 2006.Your E-mail address attached to Ticket number 20511465463 7644 with Serial number 472-9768-98 d the lucky numbers 8697226599,which ,consequently won in the 1st category, you are therefore been approved for a lump sum payout of US$1,000,000.00 ( One Million United State Dollars). This is from a total cash prize of USD$5,000,000.00 Million shared amongst Eight Lucky Winners in the Category A + (Plus).
(Biggest Lottery Organization in NETHERLANDS).All participants
were selected through computer ballot system Drawn from over 50,000 companies and 2,000,000individual email addresses from all over the world, as part of our international promotion programme, which we conduct every five years. Be informed that your documents have to pass through our legal authority to obtain clearance, which shall be attached to your document in readiness of the subsequent onward transfer into your nominated bank account within 48 hours of completion of the authentication. Due to the possibility of unscrupulous individuals filing a double claim, we suggest that you keep this award strictly confidential until your claim has been processed and notarized and your certificate of award obtained. This is in conformity with the lottery claim regulations by our Organization & High Court of Justice. This is part of our security protocol measures to avoid double claiming and unwarranted abuse of this program by some participants/non participants .All winnings must be claimed not later than 30th of December 2006.After this date all unclaimed funds will be included in the next stake.
To file for your claim, please contact our processing/your claim agent
TEL +31-644-749-990
NOTE:Delays will compel us to disperse your funds, in other words, we shall divert your funds as stated above. Kindly remember to quote your reference numbers in any correspondence with your claim agent, finally you can call on us and make sure that you save a copy of this mail and note every letter clearly as stated for we will not be held responsible should there be any complications in this transaction due to laxity on your part. Congratulations once more from our members of staff and thank you for being part of our promotional programme.

Yours truly,