Stupid Punts!

Stupid Punts!

Text

Examples of the "Nigerian scam" that flood my email box everyday.

Tuesday, April 29, 2008

This scammer must be pretty desperate to weave Enron into his fantasy.

He also needs to spell check his magnum opus; the last time I looked "died" was not spelt "deid", neither was "monetary" spelt "monitary".

Dear,

Compliments of the day.

First of all, let me start by introducing myself. My name is Mr. Ray Smith, the Auditor General of Deutsche Bank London. I have an urgent and very confidential business proposition for you. I am the accounting officer of Mr. Ken Lay, Enron founder, who deid on July, 5th 2006, at the age of 64 and his friend and partner Mr. Jeffrey Skilling, Ex-Enron CEO who was convicted 24 years for his involvement on the collapse of Enron, the energy trading giant in America.

It will interest you to know that on Wednesday, 7th February 2001, Mr. Ken Lay deposited a total sum of 20M pounds and on Tuesday, 24th April 2001, Mr Jeffrey Skilling deposited 17.5M Pounds in our Bank. These funds were deposited into a non-existing company's account which I opened in our bank (DEUTSCHE BANK LONDON) under their instructions, to avoid raising an eyebrow but unfortunately for them and fortunately for me, the 2 men are gone. You can read more about the 2 men by visiting the below websites:

http://www.chron.com/news/specials/enron/
http://www.accountancyage.com/accountancyage/news/2171002/enron-ceo-sentence-slashedhttp://www.economist.com/business/displaystory.cfm?story_id=8082101

Right now, we have the sum of 37.5M Pounds lying in the 2 accounts without any proof of ownership as it was opened with non-existing companies name and the bank is not aware of the real beneficiaries as the accounts did not bear any name. As their accounting officer and financial adviser in charge of these accounts, I can comfortable present you to the Bank as the real beneficiary of the funds and the Bank have no right to deny the application.

Consequently, my proposal is that I want to seek your consent as a foreigner to stand as the owner of these accounts, since it has no trace or beneficiary which makes it easier and fine to transfer to your designated bank account as the beneficiary. The nature of my work as a staff of the Bank will not allow me lay claim on the funds, hence this proposal to you and be informed that as long as you are ready to cooperate and be truthful to me, I can assure you that the sky will be our limit. All documents and proves to enable you get the money will be carefully worked out and more so, I assure you that the business is risk free, as everything will be handled in accordance with the International Monitary Guidelines. I am offering you 40% for your cooperation in achieving this aim. Please, if you are interested in working with me, I will like you to send the below informations to enable me procure the necessary documents that will back up the transfer to your account:

1. YOUR HOUSE OR COMPANY'S ADDRESS.
2. AGE, SEX AND MARITAL STATUS.
3. OCCUPATION.
4. NATIONALITY.
5. TELEPHONE AND FAX NUMBERS FOR EASY COMMUNICATIONS.

As soon as I receive your acceptance mail by forwarding the above informations, I will prepare the paper works in your name for onward remittance of the funds into your designated account.

Lastly, I want you to understand that this transaction requires trust, honest and above all, utmost confidentiality, to avoid escalating. Call me on 44 704 576 5420 after going through this mail for oral discussions.

Anticipating to hear from you soon.

Regards.Mr. Ray Smith

The Auditor General,
Deutsche Bank
London.
Tel: 44 704 576 5420.

Thursday, April 24, 2008

This pile of illiterate gibberish arrived in my mail box this morning.

Quite what "Dikko" (how very appropriate!) means by offering me "condolences" I have no idea.

He then goes on about investing in a factory, only to change his story half way through and talk about a hotel.

The block capitals used throughout this pile of shite aren't very inspiring either.

It is clearly a scam by a moron.

Regrettably there are people around the world who fall for this.

are FROM ;JAMES DIKKO COTE D'IVOIRE

(PLEASE - BE - HONEST - WITH - ME)

IT IS MY PLEASURE WRITING YOU WITH THIS FEW LINES OF MINE TO KNOW IF YOU CAN BE OF MY HELP, I LOOK FORWARD TO THE DAY WE CAN MEET. MY CONDOLENCES FOR YOU. MY NAME IS MR. JAMES DIKKO, I AM ABOUT TO GO ON RETIREMENT FROM MY JOB AS AUDITOR WITH OUR BANK HERE IN( ABIDJAN) BEFORE THE END OF THE YEAR 2008.I WRITE TO INFORM YOU OF MY INTENTION TO INVEST IN A FACTORY OR REAL ESTATE OR ANY OTHER BUSINESS IN YOUR COUNTRY AND TO REQUEST YOU TO ASSIST ME IN CARRYING OUT THE FEASIBILITY STUDIES ON LOCATION, TYPE AND ESTIMATION ON HOW MUCH IT WILL COST TO ESTABLISH A FACTORY, EITHER BY OUTRIGHT PURCHASE,OR ALREADY EXISTING BUT DILAPIDATED ONE AND RENOVATE OR SETTING UP A NEW ONE ENTIRELY.

IF YOU SINCERELY CARRY OUT THIS SURVEY, KINDLY GIVE ME A FEEDBACK AS EARLY AS POSSIBLE,I WILL GIVE YOU THE POWER OF ATTORNEY TO BUILD & MANAGE THE HOTEL ON MY BEHALF, I HAVE(US$27,000,000.00)THAT I DEPOSITED IN A FINANCE COMPANY HERE IN THIS COUNTRY FOR THIS PROJECT, AND 15% WILL BE FOR YOU WHILE THE REST WILL BE FOR ME WHICH YOU WILL USE TO START THE PROJECT ON MY BEHALF.I AM PRESENTLY DOWN WITH SICKNESS AS A RESULT OF MY OLD AGE BUT I HAVE BEEN ASSURED BY MY DOCTOR THAT I WILL BE FINE AND BACK TO WORK SOON.PLEASE DO LET ME KNOW IF YOU ARE CAPABLE OF HANDLING ALL THESE.

I WILL BE EXPECTING YOUR REPLY AS SOON AS POSSIBLE § PLEASE DO SEND THE LISTED INFORMATION OF YOUR'S.
a)FULL NAME..........
b)ADDRESS..........
c)AGE........../SEX.........
d)YOUR PRIVATE PHONE NUMBER..............
e)OCCUPATION........./FAX NUMBER.........
f)YOUR INTERNATIONAL PASSPORT OR ID CARD..........

MAY GOD ALMIGHTY GRANT YOU THE WISDOM TO CARRY OUT THIS PROJECT.

THANKS

MR. JAMES DIKKO

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Now why would a genuine lottery company need to know my annual income?

UKNL FOUNDATION HEADQUARTERS:
101 Wigmore Street
London W1U 1QU

Dear LUCKY EMAIL WINNER,

Your Email has been selected as one of our lucky Winner for a cash Price of £815,502.00 (Eight Hundred and Fifteen Thousand, Five Hundred and Two Pounds Sterling) cash from e-online pro-gramme held today 22nd April 2008 in United Kingdom.

FOR DUE REMITTANCE AND PROPER CLAIMS CONTACT Via Email.

EMAIL: resultconfirmationdesk@live.com

FEEL FREE TO CALL : + 44 704 -579 - 4198

Provide the following under listed informations for due remittance of funds;
1.Name:
2.Address:
3.Nationality:
4.Age/Sex:
5.Phone:
6.Occupation:
7.Annual Income:

Congratulations on behalf of THE UKNL FOUNDATION BOARD

Yours Truly,

Anne Wright(Mrs)Online Co-Coordinator.

Friday, April 18, 2008

Oh good, £3M.

That will come in handy for the weekend!

THE LOTTERY COORDINATOR,
INTERNATIONAL PROMOTIONS/PRIZE AWARD DEPARTMENT
UK LOTTERY PROMOTION
FINANCIAL UNIT DIRECTOR/CONTROLLER
FIRST SECURITIES AND TRIPPLE WINS INTERNATIONAL GAMES,
UNITED KINGDOM BEDFORD HILL,
BALHAM SW 12,
ENGLAND.

You are a winner of the UK National lottery online program.You have been approved to claim a sum of(3,000,000.00.GBP). (Three Million Pounds) in cash credited to file KTU/9023118308/03.REFERENCE NUMBER: MA/02/453876752/NLticket number IL353/04/46,serial number IL35376EW

To file for your claims you are to contact our claims agent by email.

Mrs.Cherry Rings
Email: infocherry01@jmail.co.za

Provide her with the following information to claim your prize.
Full Name:
Address:
Phone Number:
Occupation:
Country of residence:
Nationality:
Sex:
Age:
Amount Won:

Congratulations On behalf of all members of the Lottery foundation.

Yours Truly,

Williams Chester.Co-ordinator(Online Promo Programme)

Monday, April 14, 2008

This scammer does not grasp the fundamental point that lawyers, acting on behalf of the deceased, do not contact potential beneficiaries in this manner.

Regrettably some people fall for this nasty con trick, and hand over their personal details and "commission" payments.

THIS IS FOR YOUR ATTENTION.

We wish to notify you again that you were listed as a beneficiary to the total sum of £10,600,000.00GBP (Ten Million Six Hundred Thousand British Pounds) in the codicil and last testament of the deceased. (Name now withheld since this is our second letter to you). We contacted you because you bear the surname identity and therefore can present you as the beneficiary to the inheritance.

We therefore reckoned that you could receive this fund as you are qualified by your name identity. All the legal papers will be processed in your acceptance. In your acceptance of this deal, we request that you kindly forward to us your letter of acceptance; your current telephone and fax numbers and a forwarding address to enable us file necessary documents at our high court probate division for the release of this sum of money.

Please get back to me ASAP so as to get this done immediately.

Yours faithfully,
Julio Fernando
+447045762678

Monday, April 07, 2008

"Strange and unbelievable"

Quite!

The good Deacon should really stop sending me these emails, I am no more likely to respond to the fourth one as I was to the first.

Dear Beloved,

Notification of Bequest.

On behalf of the Trustees and Executor of the estate of Late Engr. Mark Halligan, I once again try to notify you as my earlier letter was returned undelivered. I hereby attempt to reach you again by this same email address on the WILL.

I wish to notify you that late Engr. Mark Halligan made you a beneficiary to his will. He left the sum of Nine Million, One Hundred Thousand Dollars(US$9,100,000.00) to you in the codicil and last testament to his will. This may sound strange and unbelievable to you, but it is real and true. Being a widely travelled man, he must have been in contact with you in the past or simply you were nominated to him by one of his numerous friends abroad who wished you good.

Engr. Mark Halligan until his death was a former managing director and pioneer staff of a giant construction company (JULIUS BERGER). He was a very dedicated Christian who loved to give out. His great philanthropy earned him numerous awards during his life time. Late Engr. Mark Halligan died on the 9th day of February 2004 at the age of 82 years, and his WILL is now ready for execution. According to him this money is to support your humanitarian activities and to help the poor and the needy.

Please If I reach you as I am hopeful, endeavor to get back to me as soon as possible to enable me conclude my job. You should forward along your current telephone number, including your current mailing address.

I hope to hear from you in no distant time.

Yours in His service,

Deacon M. Welling, Esq.

Tuesday, April 01, 2008

This scammer would have me believe that I have won money and a BMW.

How lucky can I be!?

You won the sum of £500,000.00 GBP And a BMW CAR:
mr-georgewilliam1919@hotmail.com
(APPLICATION FOR PRIZE CLAIM)FULL NAMES*
CONTACT ADDRESS*
COUNTRY*
SEX*
AGE*
OCCUPATION*
NATIONALITY*
TELEPHONE NUMBER*
Yours Sincerely,
Mr George Williams
Online Promotions Agent