Stupid Punts!

Stupid Punts!

Text

Examples of the "Nigerian scam" that flood my email box everyday.

Tuesday, September 30, 2008

My thanks to this scammer for not wasting my time with a long rambling letter discussing secret bank accounts and dead bodies.

This is short, sweet and to the point; it is of course still a scam!

Attention:Sir/Madame

I need your assistance in retrieving a widows fund($75million) to you in your country as the

beneficiary.

Regards,

- Mr Wilfred Hills

Monday, September 22, 2008

How very nice of Barclays to offer to pay me $6.8M.

Unfortunately it isn't the real Barclays, just some scammer with no money who is under the impression that I am a gullible moron.

Global Banking Division
Barclays Bank Plc
1 Churchill Place London,
E14 5HP-United Kingdom

http://www.barclays.co.uk

Dear Sir/Madam,

RE: INSTRUCTIONS TO CREDIT YOUR BANK ACCOUNT WITH US$6,800,000.00

We at this bank wish to congratulate and inform you that after thorough review of your funds transfer schedule in conjunction with the World Bank’s and the International Monetary Funds assessment report, your payment file was forwarded to us for immediate transfer of a part-payment of US$6,800,000.00 to your designated bank account from their offshore account with us.

The Auditor's reports forwarded to us shows that you have been going through hard times in the past, by paying a lot of money to see to the release of your outstanding funds, which has been delayed by some dubious officials. We therefore advice that you stop further communication with any correspondence outside this office till we transfer the funds into your bank account since you do not have to pay any money or transfer charges to receive your funds as you have met up with the whole funds transfer requirements.

The only thing required from you is to obtain the Non-Residential Clearance Form to enable us credit your account directly by telegraphic transfer or through any of our corresponding banks and send copies of our bank's telex and funds transfer documents to you and your bankers for confirmation. Should you follow our directives, your funds will be credited and confirm in your bank account within five (5) working days from the day you obtain this Non-Residential Clearance Form.

For further details and assistance on this Transfer Notice, kindly forward your Full Name, CONTACT ADDRESS, TELEPHONE and FAX NUMBERS directly to my Private E-mail: barclaysbank.anthonysmith@gmail.com, for confidentiality of its contents.

Yours sincerely,

Mr Anthony Smith
Global Banking Division,
Barclays Bank Plc,
UK.Private
Email: barclaysbank.anthonysmith@gmail.com

Monday, September 08, 2008

My thanks to "Scotiabank" for warning me that someone has violated my account. They are to limit my account to webcam shows???

One small problem, I do not have an account with Scotia!

This is a phish designed to trick the unwary into divulging their pass codes etc.

We recently have determined that different computers have logged into your Scotia Bank account, and multiple password failures were present before the logons‏

Your account has been temporarily limited !,

We are hereby notifying you that, after a recent review of your account activity, it has been determined that you are in violation of Scotia OnLine's Acceptable Use Policy.

Therefore, your account has been temporarily limited for: webcam shows.

We must properly verify your account again

Tips to unlock your Scotia OnLine account. - It's Easy

Here's how to get started:

1. Log in to https://www.scotiaonline.scotiabank.com/online/start.jsp

2. Follow the steps to update your personal records and you will not run into any future problems with the online service.

3. Once you have completed these steps, we will send you an email notifying that your account is available again.

4. Please allow (3) three business days for processing.

Note: Please do not reply to this email.

This mailbox is not monitored and you will not receive a response.

Wednesday, September 03, 2008

This scammer claims to be an external auditor of a well known bank in the UK, and offers me a share in the account of a dead person.

Seemingly this deal has been sanctioned by the "Federal Ministry of Finance".

One small problem (aside from the fact that the entire proposition is bollocks), the UK does not have a "Federal Ministry of Finance".

Hello,

Do accept my sincere apologies if my mail does not meet your personal ethics although, I Wish to use this medium to get in touch with you because it's fastest
means.

I am an external auditor of a well-known bank here in the United Kingdom. In one of our periodic auditing I discovered a dormant accounts with holding balance of £150,000,000 (One Hundred & Fifty Million British Pounds), which has not been operated for the past
three years. From my investigations and confirmations, the owner of this account is a foreigner who died long ago and since then nobody has done anything as regards
the claiming of this money because he has no family members who are aware of the existence of neither the account nor the funds.

I have secretly discussed this matter with a top senior official of the Federal Ministry of Finance here and we have agreed to find a reliable foreign partner to deal with us although due to his position he did not want to take active part but as soon as you follow my instructions everything will be successful because we will be working hand in hand with him. With this purpose to do business with you, standing in as the next of kin of these funds from the deceased and after due legal processes have been followed the fund will be released to your account without delay and we will use it for investment and to assist the less privileged in the societies because if we left the fund with the government it will be fortified for nothing and will be used to suppress the poor masses in the society.

This transaction is totally free of risk and troubles as the fund is legitimate and does not
originate from drug, money laundry, terrorism or any other illegal act. Finally, I will give you 40% for your cooperation, 10% will be for miscellaneous expenses that both parties might have incurred during this process. I would want you to understand that this
is a DEAL.

On receipt of your response I will furnish you with detailed clarification as it relates to this mutual benefit transaction. Do contact me immediately whether or not you are interested in this deal. If you are not, it will enable me scout for another foreign Partner to carry out this deal. But where you are interested, contact me URGENTLY for more details as
time is of the essence in this business.

Please observe utmost confidentiality, and be rest assured that this transaction would be most profitable for both of us because I shall require your assistance to invest my share in real estate within your country.

You should send me your account information as states below where you like the money to be transfer so that I can send application for the release of the fund immediately with your account information. Even an empty account is ok.

Bank Name.................
Bank Address......................
Beneficiary Name...................
Account Number..........................
Swift Code.....................................
Your Tel/Fax Numbers.............................
State & Country....................................
Occupation...........................


I look forward hearing from you as soon as possible if you are interested.

Regards,

Mr.Stephen Pablo.

Tuesday, September 02, 2008

"Bugging into your privacy"?

Another scam bites the dust!

Dearest friend,

I am sincerely Sorry for bugging into your privacy, it's due to a business deal in my bank value at 21.5Million us dollars, as a foreigner l can present you as the beneficiary to the inheritance since there is no written will by the deceased who Died at the Israeli checkpoint in jerusalem, as the director of system l have been following the records.

However l am the only one aware of the funds and investigation so far in my bank due to my investigations. l am Mr wang chan an Executive director working with Industrial and Commercial Bank of China (ICBC), this opportunity will be of mutual benefit to the two of us. I would provide you with all the necessary documents to lay claims and also I would avail you with the modalities we shall follow once I hear from you Because of my position in office, please endeavor to keep to yourself issue concerning this proposal.

If you are interested, kindly get back to me with your full contact information's and phone number via this email : wangchan1964@hotmail.com

Upon your response l will give you more details about this transaction, if not interested you can delete this mail.

Mr wang chan