Stupid Punts!

Stupid Punts!

Text

Examples of the "Nigerian scam" that flood my email box everyday.

Friday, March 30, 2007

The improbaly named Dr Wigan Carvert, who basks in the even more improbable title of EURO AFRO-ASIAN ZONAL CO-ORDINATOR, sent me an email today claiming that I have won the Microsoft Lottery.

He even tried to make the email look genuine by writing it in red, blue and black; there's class for you!

Regrettably for Dr Carvert I am not a dribbling simpleton, this is such an obvious scam as such the email has been destroyed.

E.A.A.S Lottery Headquarters:
Customer Service
Euro - Afro Asian Sweepstake Lottery
an Affiliate of Foundmoney International
Arena Complex Km 18 Route de Rufisque
I.P.P Award Dept.
U.K LONDON

MICROSOFT WINNING NOTIFICATION.

We happily announce to you the draw of the Euro - Afro Asian Sweepstake Lottery International programs Held On Thursday 29th MARCH 2007 in LONDON ENGLAND.Your e-mail address attached to ticket number: EAASL-130876 which subsequently won you the lottery in the 3rd category.You have therefore been approved to claim a total sum of £150,000 (One Hundred and Fifty Thousand pounds sterling)

This is from a total cash prize of £1500,000,000 ,shared amongs the first ten(10) lucky winners in this category.Please note that your lucky winning number falls within our europe booklet representative in LONDON , ENGLAND as indicated in your play coupon.

In view of this, your £150.000.00 (One Hundred and Fifty Thousand pounds sterling) Cheque would be released to you by our fudiciary agent in LONDON,ENGLAND.Our Fudiciary agent will immediately commence the process to facilitate the release of your check as soon as you contact him. All participants were selected randomly from World Wide Web sites and guestbooks through computer draw system and extracted from over 100,000 individuals and companies.This promotion takes place annually and it is sponsored by Sultan of Brunei, Bill Gates of Microsoft and his associates to encourage the use of internet and computers world wide.

For security reasons, you are advised to keep your winning informations confidential till your claims is processed and your cheque delivered to your nominated address through an approved delivering officer appointed specially for this program.

To begin your claim please contact our licensed and accredited agent assigned to you.


MR. ALEN KNOWELS.
EURO AFRO-ASIAN LOTTERY
Information and Payment Bureau:
1290 London Representative Office.
Tel:+447045712919
E-mail: micro-xp-award-agent@micro-xp.com


Congratulations, once more from all members and staffs of this program.Thank you for being part of this promotional lottery program. Our special thanks and gratitude to Sultan of Brunei, Bill Gates of microsoft and all his associates.

DO NOT REPLY TO THIS EMAIL, CONTACT YOUR FIDUCIARY AGENT DIRECTLY .

Sincerely,
FROM:DR WIGAN CARVERT.
EURO AFRO-ASIAN ZONAL CO-ORDINATOR.

Thursday, March 29, 2007

This scammer claims to be working for the UK National Lottery in tandem with some gold mining company in Burkina Faso.

At what stage in my life did I give the impression to these scumbags that I am a drooling, dribbling simpleton?

Needless to say it has been cosigned to the rubbish bin!

UNITED KINGDOM IN COLABRATION WITH GOLD MINING COMPANY.
LONDON MILLION INT & NATIONAL LOTTERY PROMOTION
OUAGADOUGOU BURKINA FASO,12th AVENUE KWAME NKRUMAH 01 BP .
WINNER- REF: LP/26510460037/03.
BATCH: 24/00319/IPE
http://www.WorldWideLotto.com


WINNING/AWARD FINAL NOTIFICATION
It is our pleasure to inform you of the declaration and aof winners of the LONDON MILLION INT LOTTERY AWARD held on 10TH of Decembre 2006.Having picked your mail address by our electronic
web site visitors collectors in-recognition of your patronage to the Internet services.
In the final draw,your name was attached to ticket number 6325698-44596-222,
with serial number 410-32659,draw lucky numbers 4014-236985744-596 which consequently won in the 2nd category.
You have therefore been approved for a lump sum pay out of

$1,000,000.00 ONE MILLION UNITED STATE DOLLARS), In cash accredited file No:LP/26510460037/03. This is from a Total Cash Prize of
($48,400,000,000.00 FOURTY EIGHT BILLION FOUR HUNDRED MILLION U.S DOLLARS) shared among the 22 International Countries in this category. All participants were selected through a computer ballot system drawn from 25,000 names from Africa, Australia, New Zealand, America,Europe,North America and Asia as part of International Promotions Program that is conducted annually to encourage the use of Internet and Internet based programs. We are delighted to express our heartfelt congratulations to you.
We hope that with a fraction of your wining money,you will be able to assist the less privilege in your society and also participate in our next year high stakes promotions of Euro 100 million International Lottery.
For your information on how you will start the Processing and remittance of your prize money to your designated account of your choice.

Please contact the claiming Manager stated below to receive your winning Money immediately:
NATIONAL LOTTERY PROMOTIONS/PRIZE GIVING AWARD
12TH.AVENUE KWAME N'KRUMAH,
OUAGADOUGOU,BURKINA-FASO.
NAME: MR.Mohammed Salif.
Email:claiiming_manager_bfl226@dcemail.com


Remember,all prize money must be claimed not later than 10th Apr. 2007.

After this duration,all funds will be returned to the Ministry of Economic Affairs as unclaimed.
NOTE: In order to avoid unnecessary delays and complications, please remember to quote your reference and batch numbers in every one of your correspondences with us or to our coordinate sponsor's bank. Should there be any change of your address, do inform the claiming
Manager to process your transaction as soon as possible.
!!!CONGRATULATION!!!
Congratulations from all our staff and thank you for being part of our promotions program.
Any breach of confidentiality on the part of the winners will result to disqualification.

We wish you continued good fortunes.
Best Wishes.
The Management,
Lottery Organisation.

Friday, March 23, 2007

This particularly illiterate scammer claims to have Esophageal cancer, which has "defiled" medical treatment.

He then goes on to invoke Goad, and claim that he has $30M which he wants me to help him give away to charity. Needless to say there is no money.

I don't know what annoys me more about these scammers; their assumption that I am stupid or their laughable illiteracy.

From . Mr. terry bill.
Email : terry1334001@yahoo.com

My name is Mr. Terry bill. I am from Portugal . I have
been diagnosed with Esophageal cancer. It has defiled all
forms of medical treatment, and right now I have only
about a few months to live, according to medical experts.
I have not particularly lived my life so well, as I never
really cared for anyone (not even myself)but my business.
Though I am very rich, I was never generous, I was always
hostile to people and only focused on my business as that
was the only thing I cared for. But now I regret all this
as I now know that there is more to life than just wanting
to have or make all the money in the world. I believe when
God gives me a second chance to come to this world I would
live my life a different way from how I have lived it.
Now that God has called me, I have willed and given most
of my property and assets to my immediate and extended
family members as well as few close friends .I want God to
be merciful to me and accept my soul so, I have decided to
give alms to charity organizations and those in Need, as I
want this to be one of the last good deeds I do on earth.
So far, I have Distributed money to some charity
organizations when I was well. Now that my health has
deteriorated so badly, I cannot do this myself anymore. I
once asked members of my family to close one of my
accounts and distribute the money which I have there to
charity organization in United States, Asia, Middle East &
Europe, they refused and kept the money to themselves.
Hence, I do not trust them anymore, as they seem not to be
contended with what I have left for them. The last of my
money which no one knows of is the huge cash deposit of
thirty Million United States Dollars ($30, 000, 000.00)
that I have with an Asset Management / Vaulting Company
Abroad. I will want you to help me collect this deposit
and dispatch it to charity organizations and use it to
help those in Need.
N/B:Kindly note that 40% of this funds must go to
victims of Tsunami, Hurricane Katrina , Hurricane Wilma
and South Asia Earthquake , 55% to other Charity
Organizations around the World and 5% for your effort and
time.
I cannot talk with you on the phone due to my health
situation, as I am using my Lap Top Computer to
communicate with you. You should respond to this e-mail if
you are interested in carrying out this assignment on my
behalf.Please for the sake of confidentiality, only reply
via my private email address
terry1334001@yahoo.com
God be with you.
Mr. Terry bill.
+From Portugal & Urgent Reply Needed.

Thursday, March 22, 2007

How's that for luck?

I have won the British Lottery again, having only just won it yesterday!

How lucky am I?

REFERENCE NUMBER:UK/786543X4/28
PROMOTIONS/ PRIZE AWARD DEPARTMENT.
60 Merriman Road Blackheath London SE3 8RZ England.

FINAL NOTIFICATION
Europe/America private international e-games organizers and
co-sponsors, BRITISH LOTTERY, officially bring to your notice the final
draw
result of MARCH 2007 BRITISH LOTTERY-wheel E-game which was conducted
at our
international corporate office complex in The United Kingdom, You have
therefore been approved for a lump sum pay out of £1,300 000 (One
Million Three hundred Pounds Sterling) .To file for your claim, please
contact our claims agent;

Name: Dr. Williams Spencer
E-mail: contact_fiduciaryagentwilliams01@yahoo.co.uk
Tel: (+44) 701113 7597

Fill the Below informations and send to the fiduciary agent for your
claims verification:

1.Full Name:
2.Full Address:
3.Marital Status:
4.Occupation:
5.Age:
6.Sex:
7.Nationality:
8.Country Of Residence:
9.Telephone Number:

Congratulations once more from all members and staff of this program.


Yours Sincerely,
Mrs. Lewis Braxton,
Executive (International Sweepstakes).

Wednesday, March 21, 2007

Another fake British lottery "win". Maybe the scammers have realised that using the words "Africa" or "Nigeria" in an email isn't such a bright idea.

REFERENCE NUMBER:UK/786543X4/28
PROMOTIONS/ PRIZE AWARD DEPARTMENT.
60 Merriman Road Blackheath London SE3 8RZ England.

FINAL NOTIFICATION
Europe/America private international e-games organizers and
co-sponsors, BRITISH LOTTERY, officially bring to your notice the final
draw
result of MARCH 2007 BRITISH LOTTERY-wheel E-game which was conducted
at our
international corporate office complex in The United Kingdom, You have
therefore been approved for a lump sum pay out of £1,300 000 (One
Million Three hundred Pounds Sterling) .To file for your claim, please
contact our claims agent;

Name: Dr. Williams Spencer
E-mail: contact_fiduciaryagentwilliams01@yahoo.co.uk
Tel: (+44) 701113 7597

Fill the Below informations and send to the fiduciary agent for your
claims verification:

1.Full Name:
2.Full Address:
3.Marital Status:
4.Occupation:
5.Age:
6.Sex:
7.Nationality:
8.Country Of Residence:
9.Telephone Number:

Congratulations once more from all members and staff of this program.


Yours Sincerely,
Mrs. Lewis Braxton,
Executive (International Sweepstakes).

Monday, March 19, 2007

Start the week as you mean to go on, with a fake lottery win!

Dear Sir/Madam,

We are pleased to inform you of the final announcement today, 18TH MARCH, 2007
of winners of the UK NATIONAL LOTTERY ONLINE PROMO PROGRAMME, held on the 29TH
of Jan, 2007.

Your e-mail address attached to ticket number: 56475600545 188 with Serial
number 5368/02 drew the lucky numbers:01-14-21-3-35-48, and a bonus number of
24 which subsequently won you the lottery in the second category.You have
therefore been approved to claim a total sum of £956,420 in cash credited to
KTU/9023118308/03. This is from a total cash prize of £3,801,680 shared amongst
the first four (4) lucky winners in this category.

PROCEDURES FOR CLAIMS

NON UK RESIDENT WINNERS ARE HOWEVER REQUESTED TO CONTACT THE FIDUCIARY AGENT
ATTACHED TO DRAW ASAP UK LOTTERY{CLAIMS DEPT}

FIDUCIARY AGENT:MR MICHAEL MARTINS
EMAIL:ukonlinelotto1@sify.com


VERIFICATION FORM TO AUTHENTICATE YOUR EMAIL
NAME ..........
SEX:.................................
AGE...................................
OCCUPATION.............................
TEL.......................FAX................. (If any)
COUNTRY................................
E-MAIL..................................
WINNING NUMBER......................

Congratulations once more from all members and staffs of this program.

Thank you for being part of our online promotional lottery program.

Yours Truly,
Richard K Lloyd.
Co-ordinator (Online Promo Programme).

Thursday, March 15, 2007

Whenever a scammer invokes God, and talks about morals, I immediately reach for thr sick bag.

The improbably named Felicia Clatus talks about both, and as such deserves a double "retch".

I also have to say that I thought that it was "Sierra Leone" not "Sierra Leon", but what do I know?

Needless to say her missive has been consigned to the dustbin.

Dear friend,
I am a Sierra Leon by nationality, presently residing here in
theNeighbouring country Benin republic as a result of war that erupted
in Freetown.
I got your contact from your country business guide.We therefore solicit
for your assistance to grant us the moral andtechnical advice that we may
require to Relocate/invest overseas.
It is true that I had not known you before, but I have no option than to risk
believing that God will not let us alone. It's my pleasure to Contact you
for a business venture which I and my Son, intend to establish in your
country.
When war erupted in Freetown, there is certain Amount ofmoney totalling USD
nineteen million ($19,000,000.00) which my late husband was able to move out
of Sierraleon through a diplomatic channel, with theassistance of a
securities and finance company before he was assassinated by unknown
persons.
Now I and my son decided to invest these money in your country or any
where safe enough outside Africa for security and political reasons.
IMPORTANT
We want you to understand that you will assist us to secure these funds
forthe investment first, from the securities company.
We are interested in hospitality industry
If you want to assist us, feel free to contact me urgently through my
son justin ,who is presently seeking asylum in Europe Through this email
address( jjclatus@uymail.com )
to enable him give to you further Information relative to
the presence/position of funds which will authorize the securities company
to release to you as our partner and beneficiary
Regards
Mrs Felicia Clatus

Wednesday, March 14, 2007

The "kelly Konan" scammer is up to his/her old tricks again, as this letter is repeatedly doing the rounds.

Sad to say, there are some people who fall for this.

Quite why that "kelly" does not use a capital letter for her first name, and the dupes who fall for this don't spot that obvious point, is beyond me.

From kelly Konan
Medical student
Of The University
Abidjan Ivory Coast
West Africa
Dear,

I know that my message will come to you as a surprise since I don?t know
you in person or met with you before, but I am of the believe that you
would be obliged to come to my assistance after hearing about my situation.
I was, until recently, a Medical student of the University of Abidjan,
Ivory Coast West Africa.

I am the only Son of late Mr Frederick Drogba Konan. My father was a very
wealthy cocoa merchant based in Abidjan, the economic capital of Ivory
Coast. He was poisoned to death by his business associates on one of their
outing to discuss on a business last year.

When my mother died on the October 1987, my father took me so special
because I am motherless. Before the death of my father last year, in a
private hospital here in Abidjan. He secretly called me on his bed side and
told me that he has a sum of US$ 16,500,000 left in account in a bank here
in Abidjan, that he used my name for the next of kin in deposit of the fund.
He also explained to me that it is because of this wealth that he was
poisoned by his business associates.

1)I am honourably seeking your assistance to provide a bank account where
this money will be transferred to.

2)You will serve as the guardian of this funds since I am a Boy of 20 years.

3)You will make arrangement for me to come over to your country after the
money has been transferred to you.

I have plans to do investment in your country, like real estate and
industrial production. This is my reason for writing to you. Please if you
are willing to assist me please indicate your interest.

I am willing to offer you 15% of the total sum as compensation for your
effort/input after this successful transfer of this fund to your nominated
account overseas.

Finally if you have any question as regards this transaction contact me so
that I will send you documents of this fund. Note that the confidentiality
of this transaction would be highly appreciated in replying soonest.

Thanks and best regards.

kelly Konan

Tuesday, March 13, 2007

This scammer is trying to kid me that I have won a Microsoft lottery.

How stupid does he think I am?

Microsoft Award Team
20 Craven Park, Harlesden
London NW10,United Kingdom

Ref: BTD/968/07
Batch: 409978E

Dear Lucky winner,

***WINNING NOTIFICATION***

The prestigious Microsoft and AOL has set out and successfully organised a
Sweepstakes marking the Annual anniversary we rolled out over 100,000.000.00
(One Hundred Million Great Britain Pounds) for our end of year Anniversary
Draws. Participants for the draws were randomly selected and drawn from a wide
range of web hosts which we enjoy their patronage.

The selection was made through a computer draw system attaching personalised
email addresses to ticket numbers.Microsoft and AOL are now the largest Internet
companies and in an effort to make sure that Internet Explorer remains the most
widely used program, Microsoft and AOL are running an e-mail beta test.

Your email address as indicated was drawn and attached to ticket number
080775787555 with serial numbers BTD/0257903122/07 and drew the lucky numbers
04-06-09-90-09-22(07) which subsequently won you 1,000,000.00 (One Million Great
Britain Pounds) as one of the jackpot winners in this draw. You have therefore
won the entire winning sum of 1,000,000.00 (One Million Great Britain Pounds).
The draws registered as Draw number one was conducted in Brockley, London United
Kingdom on the 10th of March 2007. These Draws are commemorative and as such
special. Please be informed by this winning notification to Contact your
fiduciary agent.

Dr. Clinton Jackson
Microsoft Promotion Award Team
Head Winning Claims Dept.
Email: microsoft_fiduciaryagent2007@yahoo.co.uk
Tel: +44 701 113 9712

Monday, March 05, 2007

Let joy be unrestrained...I have won another fake lottery!

TECHIE CHARITY PROMOTIOM S.A.
PLAZA DE ANGEL 10, 28012
MADRID, SPAIN

REF NO, TCP- 400738213952.
TICKET NO, 20693721TW.

WINNING NOTIFICATION

TO THE E-MAIL BEARER,

IT GIVES ME GREAT JOY TO ACKNOWLEDGE YOU AS THE RECIPIENT OF TECHIE CHARITY PROMOTION YEARLY DRAW, HELD FEBRUARY 23TH 2007.

YOU HAVE THEREFORE EMERGED AS A RECIPIENT IN THE THIRD CATEGORY WITH AN AWARD OF EIGHT HUNDRED AND FIFTY THOUSAND EURO (850,000,00) IN THIS YEAR PROMOTION. YOUR E-MAIL ADDRESS ATTACHED TO THE ABOVE STATED TICKET NUMBER EMERGED AS ONE OF THE WINNERS IN OUR RANDOM SAMPLING CERTIFIED DEVICE, CONFORMED ALSO BY EMINENT REPRESENTATIVES OF THE ACCREDITED CHARITY BODIES.

REVENUE FOR THIS CHARITABLE PROGRAMME IS DERIVED FROM NON-GOVERNMENTAL AGENCIES AND MAJOR MULTI-NATIONAL FIRMS CUTTING ACROSS THE EUROPEAN AND AMERICAN COMMUNITY.
IN COMPLIANCE WITH THE SPONSORING BODIES CONSENSUS, YOU ARE TO MAKE A REMITTANCE OF A PART OF YOUR WON FUND, NOT LESS THAN 20-PERCENT (20%) TO A RECOGNIZED CHARITY HOME WITHIN YOUR LOCALITY, AFTER RECEIVING YOUR AWARD/PRIZE.

PLEASE, FOR ALL ENQUIRIES AND FURTHER PROCEDURE OF CLAIM, LIAISE WITH THE DESIGNATED FIDUCIAL NATALIA ANTONIO (MRS) VIA (FIDUCIAL_AGENT2@TECHIE.COM) .
CONGRATULATIONS ONCE MORE.

YOURS TRULY

MARIA MARTINEZ (MRS)

INFO. DIRECTOR

NB; KINDLY INDICATE YOUR REF AND TICKET NUMBERS IN ALL YOUR REPLIES AND ALSO NOTE THAT THIS IS PURELY A CHARITY-BASE PROMOTION.

Saturday, March 03, 2007

What a load of bollocks!

It is sad to report that there are some people who fall for this.

Yahoo! Mail announce you as one of the 10 lucky winners in the ongoing Yahoo Lottery Draw held on the 24th of February, 2007.
All 10 winning email addresses were randomly selected from a batch of 50,000,000 international emails each from Canada , Australia , United States , Asia, Europe, Middle East, Africa and Oceania as part of our international promotions program which is conducted annually,consequently, you have been approved for a total pay out of 800,000.00 GBP (EIGHT HUNDRED THOUSAND GREAT BRITISH POUNDS STERLING ).

This Lottery was promoted and sponsored by a conglomerate of some
multinational companies as part of their social responsibility to the citizens in the communities where they have operational base.
Further more your details(e-mail address) falls within our British representative office in United Kingdom , as indicated in your play coupon and your prize of 800,000.00 GBP will be released to you from this regional branch office in UK.

HOW TO CLAIM YOUR PRIZE
These are your identification numbers.......................
Batch number.....................Lwh 09445
Lotto number.......................Lwh09446
Winning number...................Lwh09447
Yahoo!'s Agent for Notice of claims of copyright or other intellectual property infringement can be reached as follows:
You are advised to contact Dr. Mike Denison your claims agent.
Name Dr.Mike Denison.
CLAIMS AGENT Email: drmike_denison7@yahoo.co.uk
You are to send the completed verification form below to our Agent in the United Kingdom whose email address is given above so that you will be advised on what to do to get your prize money. Congratulations once more!!
1. FULL NAME
2. COUNTRY OF ORIGIN
3. PRESENT ADRESS.
4. DIRTH OF BIRTH
5. OCCUPATION
6. TELEPHONE NUMBER
6. FAX NUMBER (IF ANY)
7. MARITAL STATUS
8. WINNING NUMBER, BATCH NUMBER AND LOTTO NUMBER.
For security reasons, we advice all winners to keep this information
confidential from the public until your claim is processed and your
prize released to you. This is part of our security protocol to avoid
double claiming and unwarranted taking advantage of this programme by non-selected winner or unofficial personnel.
Yours Sincerely,


DR. BRIAN HUNT (PHD)
LOTTO CO-ORDINATOR.
The Yahoo.com staff
Yahoo.com http://www.yahoo.com

The Yahoo.com staff
Yahoo.com http://www.yahoo.com

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