Stupid Punts!

Stupid Punts!


Examples of the "Nigerian scam" that flood my email box everyday.

Friday, September 28, 2007

I believe that this is the longest scam letter that I have ever is of course still shite though!

Wan Yonghong
Standard Chartered Bank
Hong Kong Branch

Thank you for giving me your time. Please be patient and read my emailto you. I am a staff of Standard Chartered Bank attached in Private Bankingservices. I am contacting you concerning a customer and, an investmentplaced under our banks management 4 years ago, I contacted youindependently of our investigation and no one is informed of thiscommunication and I would like to intimate you with certain facts that I believewould be of interest to you. In 2003, the subject matter; ref:SSCB/SCB/bank/77 came to our bank toengage in business discussion with our Private Banking ServiceDepartment. He informed us that he had a financial portfolio of 8.35million United States Dollars, which he wished to have us turn over on hisbehalf. I was the officer assigned to his case; I made numeroussuggestions in line with my duties as the de-facto chief operations officer ofthePrivate Banking Service Department, especially given the volume offunds he wished to put into our bank. We met on numerous occasionsprior to any investments being placed. I encouraged him to consider variousgrowth funds with prime ratings. The favored route in my advice tocustomers is to start by assessing data on 600 traditional stocks andbond managers and alternative investments. Based on my advice, we spun themoney around various opportunities and made attractive margins for ourfirst month of operation, the accrued profit and interest stood at this point at over 10 million United States Dollars, this margin was notthe full potential of the fund but he desired low risk guaranteedreturns on investments. In mid 2004, he asked that the money beliquidated because he needed to make an urgent investment requiring cashpaymentsin Europe. He directed that I liquidate the funds and had it depositedwith a firm in Europe. I informed him that our bank would have tomakespecial arrangements to have this done and in order not to circumventdue process, the bank would have to make a 9.5 % deduction from thefunds to cater for banking and statutory charges.

He complained aboutthe charges but later came around when I explained to him the complexitiesof the task he was asking of us. Cash movement across borders hasbecome especially strict since the incidents of 9/11. I contacted my affiliate in Europe and had the funds available in mainland Europe. I undertook all the processes and made sure I followedhis precise instructions to the letter and had the funds deposited in asecurity consultancy firm, the firm is a specialist private firm thataccepts deposits from high net worth individuals and blue chipcorporations that handle valuable products or undertake transactionsthat need immediate access to cash. This small and highly private organizationisfamiliar especially to the highly placed and well-connectedorganizations. In line with instructions, the money was deposited. Hetold me he wanted the money there in anticipation of his arrival from Norwaylaterthat week. This was the last communication we had, this transpiredaround 25th February 2005. In June last year, we got a call from thesecurity firm informing us of the inactivity of that particularportfolio.This was an astounding position as far as I was concerned, given thefact that I managed the private banking sector I was the only one whoknew about the deposit, and I could not understand why he had not comeforward to claim his deposit. I made futile efforts to locate him Iimmediately passed the task of locating him to the internalinvestigations department of our bank. Four days later, informationstarted to trickle in, that he was apparently dead.

A person who suited his description was declared dead of a heart attackin Cannes, South of France. We were soon enough able to identify thebody and cause of death was confirmed. The bank immediately launched an investigation into possible survivingnext of kin to alert about the situation and also to come forward toclaim his estate. If you are familiar with private banking affairs,those who patronize our services usually prefer anonymity, but alsosome levels of detachment from conventional processes. In his bio-data form,he listed no next of kin. In the field of private banking, opening anaccount with us means no one will know of its existence, accounts arerarely held under a name; depositors use numbers and codes to make theaccounts anonymous. This bank also gives the choice to depositors ofhaving their mail sent to them or held at the bank itself, ensuringthat there are no traces of the account and as I said, rarely do theynominate next of kin. Private banking clients apart from not nominatingnext of kin also usually in most cases leave wills in our care, in thiscase; he died in testate.

What I wish to relate to you will smack of unethical practice but Iwant you to understand something. It is only an outsider to thebanking world who finds the internal politics of the banking worldaberrational.The world of private banking especially is fraught with huge rewardsfor those who occupy certain offices and oversee certain portfolios.You should have begun by now to put together the general direction of whatI propose. There is US$ 8,370,000.00 deposited, I alone have thedeposit details and they will release the deposit to no one unless Iinstruct them to do so. I alone know of the existence of this depositfor as far as the finance firm, the transaction with our deceased customerconcluded when I sent the funds to the firm, all outstandinginteractions in relation to the file are just customer services and due process.Thefinance firm has no single idea of what's the history or nature of thedeposit. They are simply awaiting instructions to release the deposit to any party that comes forward. This is the situation.

Thisbank has spent great amounts of money trying to track this man'sfamily; they have investigated for months and have found no family. Theinvestigation has come to an end. My proposal; I am prepared to place you in a position to instruct the finance firmto release the deposit to you as the closest surviving relation. Uponreceipt of the deposit, I am prepared to share the money with you inhalf and no more. That is: I will simply nominate you as the next ofkin and have them release the deposit to you. We share the proceeds 50/50.I would have gone ahead to ask the funds be released to me, but thatwould have drawn a straight line to me and my involvement in claimingthe deposit. But on the other hand, you as a foreigner and also withall the necessary legal and official documentations from me and thepresiding attorney and also with the authority vested upon me by theoriginal depositor, you would easily pass as the beneficiary with therights to claim.

I assure you that I could have the deposit released to youin a few days. I will simply inform our bank of the final closing ofthe file relating to the customer. I will then officially communicate with the finance company and instruct them to release the deposit toyou. With these two things: all is done. The alternative would be for us tohave the firm direct the funds to another bank with you as accountholder. This way there will be no need for you to think of receivingthe money from the firm. We can fine-tune this based on our interactions.I am aware of the consequences of this proposal. I ask that if you findno interest in this project that you should discard this mail. I askthat you do not be vindictive or destructive. If my offer is of noappeal to you, delete this message and forget I ever contacted you. Do notdestroy my career because you do not approve of my proposal.

You maynot know this but people like myself who have made tidy sums out ofcomparable situations run the whole private banking sector. I am not acriminal and what I do; I do not find against good conscience, this maybe hard for you to understand, but the dynamics of my industry dictatesthat I make this move. Such opportunities only come once in a lifetime. I cannot let this chance pass me by I hope you understand becausefor once I found myself in total control and face to face with mydestiny. These chances won't pass me by. I ask that you do not destroymy chance, if you will not work with me let me know and let me move onwith my life but do not destroy me. I am a married woman with 2 kids andthis is an opportunity to provide them with new opportunities. Thereis a reward for this project and it is a task well worth undertaking. I haveevaluated the risks and the only risk I have here is from you refusingto work with me and alerting my bank. I am the only one who knows ofthis situation, good fortune has blessed you with a name that hasplanted you into the center of relevance in my life. Let's share the blessing. If you find yourself able to work with me, contact me through thisemail account:

If you give me positivesignals,I will initiate this process towards a conclusion Please observe this instruction religiously. Please note again, I am ahappily married woman with two kids. I send you this mail not withouta measure of fear as to what the consequences might be, but I knowwithin me that nothing ventured is nothing gained and that success andriches never come easy or on a platter of gold. This is the one truth Ihave learned from my private banking clients. Do not betray myconfidence. If we can be of one accord, we should plan a meeting, soon. I await your response.


Wan Yonghong

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