Advice To Paypal Fraudsters

You might want to spell check you fraudulent emails before you send them out, as the last time I checked "customer" was not spelled "Costommer"!

Oppurtunity Knocks!

Dear scammers,

You will find that "opportunity" is not spelled "oppurtunity"!

Thank you.

02031577156 Scamming Scumbags

Scamming scumbags, claiming to be from Windows, are calling from this number 02031577156.

Block them and report them.

Advice To Scammers

Asking me if I am "dead or alive" in the subject line really is idiotic, even by your standards!

Advice To Barrister Michael Koffigoh

I believe the word you are groping for is "message", not "massage", re the text in the email you sent me:

"PLEASE KINDLY OPEN MY ATTACHMENT READ MY MASSAGE AND GET BACK TO ME IS VERY IMPORTANT IS ABOUT MY LATE CLIENT A CITIZEN OF YOUR COUNTRY."

Cretin!

Advice To Scammers

When trying to convince the gullible and naive that there is a 20 foot container waiting for them at a port, it is advisable to get the technical terms just right.

To this end, you will find that the term is "bill of lading" not "bill of ladin".

Am I Dead yet?

My thanks to the scammer who sent me a message with the following subject line:

"ARE YOU DEAD? IF YOU ARE NOT DEAD CONTACT IMMEDIATELY‏"

As far as I am aware, I am not dead yet. However, dead or alive, I won't waste my time contacting the scammer.

Question For Scammers

I have a couple of questions wrt the "hot new penis pills" that you keep trying to flog me.

- Do you mean the pills are hot (in the sense that they burn), if so they sound dangerous?

- Are the pills to be taken by my penis, if so is that not very uncomfortable?

Advice To Scammers

The phrase "my late husband died" is tautology, if you are going to try to scam someone at least have the wit to do it in a grammatically correct fashion.

Laugh of The Day

Out of all the spam and phishing emails I receive on a daily basis, offering me loans etc, I contend that an "organisation" that purports to call itself "UK COMIC FINANCE" is the least likely to be taken seriously!

Erections of Iron

My thanks to the spammer who keeps offering me a product that will, allegedly, give me "erections of iron".

However, the trouble with iron is that it rusts.

Question Re Penis Pills

My thanks to the spammer who sent me an advert for "cheap penis pills".

However, please could he/she tell me how the hell my penis is meant to take a pill?