Stupid Punts!

Stupid Punts!

Text

Examples of the "Nigerian scam" that flood my email box everyday.

Saturday, November 07, 2009

More dishonest, illiterate drivel from another lyingin, thieving scumbag.

Attention

I am Nicholas Blater, an attorney at law. A deceased client of mine,that shares the same last name as yours died as the result of a heart-related condition on March 12th 2005. His heart condition was due to the death of all the members of his family in the tsunami disaster on the 26th December 2004 in Sumatra Indonesia .And in the record there is no known successor to this deposit of the deceased who died without a will.See: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2004_Indian_Ocean_earthquake. I can be reached on (nicholasblater@sify.com) for more information. My late Client has a deposit of Seventeen Million Five hundred Thousand Dollars ( US$ 17.500,000) left behind. this can work for both of us because you share the same Last Name

Get back to me so we can proceed on it without any delay

Best regards,
Nicholas Blater
Attorney AT Law
One America Square
London
EC3N 2PR
England

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

The subject line of this appallingly illiterate piece of prose is "URGENT ATTENTION IS NEDERD FROM YOU‏"

Says it all really doesn't it?

This is in regard to outstanding paying,I am Mr.Mark Richards; the newly appointed Director United Nations; Legal Affairs,Security and Investigation,The President of the Federal Republic of Nigeria (Chief YAR`ADUA) and his Decision Making Body,The Excutive Arms of the government, has directed me to come down to Nigeria to Investigate your fund and to make sure that we approve all outstanding debts owned to Foreign beneficiaries by the goverment of Nigeria in this 2 quarter of this fiscal year 2008. This decision was taken based on the abnormalise and inability of the BANKS in Nigeria to Release your fund into your bank account; Whereby it was discovered that some Directors in Central bank of NIGERIA being the Federal Government of Nigeria were diverting foreign beneficiaries payment to another account of their choice overseas. In view of this,during our investigation i found out that; an account was submitted to divert your fund to a Germany account.

Friday, September 18, 2009

This scam is short and simple, but utter bollocks!

$6.8MILLION USD on an ATM CARD is in your favor,Contact Mrs. Linda Hillswith your NAME,DELIVERY ADDRESS COUNTRY AND PHONE NUMBER.

Thursday, September 17, 2009

This scammer is worried that I am dead. Seemingly I have funds lying dormant that I haven't collected, presumably because I am dead!

One of the most poorly written scams I have read in quite a number of days.

FROM CHIEF Tony Eke (EXECUTIVE CHAIRMAN)
GLOBAL FINANCIAL INVESTIGATION OFFICE
14A AWOLOWO LANE, IKOYI
LAGOS NIGERIA.
Email: tony_eke2000@yahoo.it
Motto: No Body is Above The Law
Attention Fund Beneficiary Are You Dead??????,
I Am CHIEF Tony Eke (New Chairman GFI) Chairman Global
Financial Investigation Office Nigeria, There Is Presently A Counter
Claims On Your Funds By One Mrs. Rose Morgan, Who Is Presently Trying To
Make Us Believe That
You Are Dead And Even Explained That You Entered Into An Agreement With
her,To help You In Receiving Your Fund And That Was My Reason Of
Calling/Writing For Confirmation.
So here Comes The Big Question...
Did You Sign Any Deed Of Assignment In Favor Of (Mrs. Rose
Morgan)?,Thereby Making her The Current Beneficiary With her Following
Account Details:
Bank Name : Cimb Bank Of Malaysia
Bank Address : Api-Api Centre, Lot 4/G3, 88000 Kota Kinabalu, Sabah,
Malaysia.Bank Customer
Account Number/Name : 10020069859527
Swift Code & Routine Number : Cibbmykl
Type Of Account : Saving Account
However you are to Reconfirm the below details for prove of alive
Full Name:
Full Address:
Direct Telephone:
Age:
Occupation:
Sx:MALE
Country:
We Shall Proceed To Issue All Payments Details to her Said Mrs. Rose
Morgan,If We do not hear from You Within The Next Two Working Days From
Today.
Thanks
Lovely Greetings and congratulations in advance God bless if still alive.
Best Regards
Yours Sincerely
Executive Chairman, Chief Tony Eke (AIG rtd.)
Contact Email: tony_eke2000@yahoo.it

Wednesday, September 02, 2009

Despite the amusing turn of phrase, this is still a scam.

Dear Partner,

I am sending you this email through the internet with reservations, basically because you may perceive my intentions wrongly.

The issue I want to unravel to you is a very classified and sensitive one, it may be very difficult for you to comprehend, but it certainly the truth.

It involves huge sum of Fund that I want you to receive on my behalf,

On your response via my email address (kwangpk222@yahoo.co.jp) I will send you the details and more information about myself and the funds.

Yours Sincerely,

Mr. Park Kwang. (South Korea)

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Advice to this moronic scammer...learn to spell!

"Discided"??!!!

Due to the Network problem we have on our data base, we have discided resend the attachment letter “attachment for more instruction”

Thank you,

Tina Pettersen

Tuesday, August 04, 2009

The moronic spammer who sent me this may care to reflect on the fact that "HELPDESK" has an "L" in it!

Your Webmail Quota Has Exceeded The Set Quota/Limit
Which Is 20GB.
You Are Currently Running On 23GB Due To Hidden Files And
Folder On Your Mailbox.
Please Click the Link Below To Validate Your Mailbox And
Increase Your Quota.


http://webactivenetwork.freehostia.com/activate/use/news/fo
rm1.html

Failure To Click This Link And Validate Your Quota May Result
In Loss Of Important Information In Your Mailbox/Or Cause
Limited Access To It.
Thanks
HEPDESK

Sunday, August 02, 2009

I am singularly "honoured", Paul Wolfowitz President of The World Bank has written to me!

Seemingly I am due $3M from the "Chattered" Bank (I suspect the scammer means "Chartered").

Suffice to say this is so obviously a scam. Sad to say that there are people gullible and greedy enough in the world who fall for this bullshit.

WORLD BANK GROUP
From Desk of the President
World Bank Group,
Switzerland.

:...........................................................
.............................................................

Subject: PAYMENT APPROVAL FROM WORLD BANK SWITZERLAND.

I am Mr.PAUL.WOLFOWITZ , the President World Bank Group.

Therefore, you are legally and highly notified with every absolute authorization on your funds and transaction long awaited release set up to fight against scams and frauds activities ravenging World Wide.

In a nut shell, the concerned are as follow, unpaid Contract payment, Funds Inheritance or Lottery Winning due to unauthorized/incapability of financial Institutions/security companies In releasing such huge sum of money due to Fraud, terrorist and money Laundry activities going on world wide.

This financial institute known as World Bank Group has Mandated the Chattered Bank via the desk of PROF.ASHOK SODJE funds remittance departmental head to release the long awaited funds of $3,000.000,00 (3Million United States Dollars) with interest accrue to beneficiaries through direct TELEGRAPHIC WIRE TRANSFER

Upon the provision of your Banking account details for your express funds transfer into your nominated account without any delay with every obedience to our instrcution and in line to your funds release with immediate action.

Hence your funds have cleared from Terrorist and Money laundry activities and your money will be released into your provided Banking account through Chattered Bank
As regards to this arrangement You are advised to contact the the desk of PROF.ASHOK SODJE funds remittance departmental head Direct telephone number 009 234 802 626 2996
chatteredwiirebank@gmail.com infrom him to release and transfer your funds into your provided Banking account urgently.

You are therefore advised to forward your direct telephone numbers

Your complete name and your complete Banking details most importantly be aware that 3 Million UNITED STATES Dollars Only (US3, 000, 000.00) is due to you.

Finally ,DR FRED LUMUMBA is awaiting to receive your contact attention on your
funds Release Without any delay.


Make your contact quickly and expressly to him now irrespective of the time as he is waiting for your attention for your funds and it's transfer interest into your provided account.

Thanks for Your Cooperation.
Mr. PAUL.WOLFOWITZ

(President) World Bank Group

PAUL.WOLFOWITZ.

Monday, July 13, 2009

This scammer, who claims to be based in the UK, might care to reflect on the fact that in the UK we don't have "boulevards" nor do we have "apartments" (we call them "flats").

He might also care to reflect on the fact that there is no such wrod as "bollyvard".

Oh, and Berkshire is not in London!

Good day,

Would you like to work from home and get paid weekly, without affecting your present job?

ALF Cosmetics Company needs a book-keeper in your state to be part of its financial team. You are to work at home andget paid weekly without leaving or affecting your present job.

ALF Cosmetics Company is primarily a Skin Care company based in the UK,we need someone to work for the company as a representative/book keeper in the States. We make products like Cellex-C Products, DCL Products, DDF Skincare,Jan Marini Skin Care, which of course, we have various customers we make supplies to weekly in the States.

***YOUR TASK IS TO CO-ORDINATE PAYMENTS FROM CUSTOMERS AND HELP US WITHTHE PAYMENT PROCESSING***

This is in view of not having an office presently in your Country.You dont need to have an Office and this certainly wont disturb any form ofwork you have going on at the moment. BENEFIT IS AS FOLLOWS:-* The average monthly income is about $4000 USD....* No form of investments from you....* This job takes only 1-3 hours per day....* You do not pay any form of taxes.... If you are interested in being our representative please write back to this email:....{alfredbright@hotmail.com} with the informations asked below to start receiving payments from our customers and start cashing right away.

Kindly Fill out the form below and we will be glad to get back to you within 12 hours.

APPLICATION FORM
Full Name........
Contact Address........
Zip Code.........
City.................
State............
Country..............
Home Phone.......
Cell Phone...........
Email..............
Age...........
Occupation........

Best Regards,

Dr.Andrew ALF Cosmetics Company
Holy Bollyvard,
14 Apt 1d,
Victoria Street
Windsor,
Berkshire
SL4 1Yb
London U.K

Thursday, June 18, 2009

A scam if ever I saw one!

HM Revenue & Customs
Crownhill Court
Tailyour Road
Plymouth
PL6 5BZ

http://www.hmrc.co.uk/

Dear Applicant,

We are pleased to notify you of the result of the HM Revenue & Customs program held on the 15TH June 2009.You have therefore been approved for a sum payment of 168,240.00 GBP only, payable in Lloyds TSB cashiers check credited to security credited file numbers GWK/558B/5355/UAD in the United Kingdom.

Due to the security, we ask that you keep all information confidential until your claim will be processed and your money remitted to you.

THIS IS PART OF OUR SECURITY PROTOCOLS TO AVOID UNWARRANTED ABUSE OF THIS PROGRAM BY SOME UNKNOWN PARTICIPANTS.

Complete and print the form attached and send to info@lloydstsbprize.com and allow us 3-9 business days in order to process it.

Lloyds TSB BANKUnited KingdomAccount ManagerMs. Kelly Campbellinfo@lloydstsbprize.com0945 100 9005 Your tax file number (TFN): 8 2 1 0 8 4 4 7 9

This will enable the office to verify your claim.

Regards,

HM Revenue & Customs
Crownhill Court
Tailyour Road
Plymouth
PL6 5BZ

http://www.hmrc.co.uk/

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

A marvellously badly written scam mail, even by Nigerian scam standards!

Greetings My Dear

It is my pleasure once again to thank you and show appreciation for your effort's,I have made arrangement to send to you the sum of $1.2 (One Million Two Hundred Thuosand US Dollard) which I kept for you as a compensation for all the past efforts and attempts to assist me in this matter.

Now, I am given you this sum due to your previous patispection. you will need to contact Rev lucky goodman in Cotonou Benin Republic

his name is:Rev lucky goodman
Email:(apex_courier@sify.com)
+22998418499
Best Regards.

ki ban moon

Saturday, May 09, 2009

A scam that is pithy and to the point.

However, it is still a scam and as such utter bollocks!

GOOD DAY,

My name is captain David Walker, I am an American soldier, I am serving in the military of the 1st Armored Division in Iraq, I have a transaction I want to introduce to you. If you know you can handle it, do get back to me as soon as possible.

Yours faithfully,

David Walker