My First Death Threat

Dear oh dear, these scammers are getting rather desperate these days.

I have over the years received many types of scams/spam from people claiming to have vast fortunes hidden in bank accounts, those who claim they are dying to those who claim that I have won the lottery. However, no one thus far has threatened to kill me; until now that is.

Whilst most can easily see through this as complete nonsense, there are some who might be genuinely frightened to receive such a note.

Whoever sent this out is a piece of shit and no mistake:

"I am a professional assassin and SMERSH have contracted me to assassinate you and have specifically paid extra for a particularly nasty death which makes it look like you died in a particularly bizarre sex game gone wrong; I had already bought the shire horse stallion (he's called Henry), the lard and the dragon dildo (from Bad Dragon of course, I only use the very best tools) when I found out that you are innocent of the accuse, so I make out this time to contact you. Unfortunately international crime syndicates won't admit to mistakes and cancel the hit so I will be forced to carry out the assassination on you. Sorry about that old chap but rules are rules.

There is an option for me to help you in other for you to know who had paid SMERSH for your DEATH and don't forget my men had been monitoring you for the past few days and daily record of your activities is been sent to me but I have refuse to order your DEATH.

Get back to me if you value your LIFE with all due speed or else I regret I will have to carry out my original contract to assassinate you and although he is quite charming for a horse I don't think Henry is the most sensitive of lovers.

You can contact me back here (spike222@e-mail.ua)

International Assassin"