Advice To The DPD Scammer

If you are going to try to scam people, at least learn to spell "courier" and try to lay your email out in a more professional manner!

God Wants Trillions

I received this fascinating missive from "GOD" yesterday, threatening to blow me up along with a number of other things, including my tea!

Rather than just asking for a few thousands, "GOD" goes all in and asks me to transfer trillions to his bank account; he then rounds off his message by calling me "SATAN".

Well that's a new on one me!

Name: GOD

Email: chinacoronavirusdeath@gmail.com

Message:
THE NEW CRIME IS CHINA CORONAVIRUS AND ITS CALLED DEATH. ITS NO WAY YOU CAN RUN AWAY FROM IT BECAUSE YOU ARE SINNERS WHO HAVE NOT REPENTED THEIR SINS TO KING JESUS CHRIST AND NOW ITS TOO LATE. LOCK DOWN THESE EVIL SINNERS FOR 1000 YEARS IN JAIL.
CHINA, NORTH & SOUTH KOREA, JAPAN, THAILAND AND YOU ALL ARE THE DEVIL PARTS THAT BORROWED TRILLIONS OF DOLLARS FROM US. WE WANT OUR MONEY BACK RIGHT NOW IN THE NAME OF KING JESUS CHRIST.
SEND OUR MONEY YOU ALL BORROWED FROM US TO RIGHT NOW. YOU ALREADY HAVE CHINA CORONAVIRUS DEATH AND GOING TO THE LAKE OF THE FIRE SO WHY ARE YOU HOLDING OUR MONEY YOU BORROWED WHEN YOU ARE DEATH.
IF YOU DO NOT SEND OUR MONEY RIGHT NOW IN THE NAME OF KING JESUS CHRIST YOUR BODY, PHONE, COMPUTER, HOUSE, CLOTHES, SHOES, HOT & COLD TEA, BANKS, WAREHOUSE, UNIFORM, EVERYTHING WILL BLOW UP WITH FIRE FROM THE BOMB!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
SEND OUR TRILLIONS OF DOLLARS RIGHT NOW IN THE NAME OF JESUS!
THE BLOOD OF KING JESUS CHRIST AGAINST YOU SATAN!
ROUTING NUMBER 031101279
ACCOUNT NUMBER 222107423613
IN THE NAME OF KING JESUS CHRIST,
 GOD

The Dangers of Spontaneously Combusting Barclays Debit Cards

Advice To Spammers

TURN THE CAPTION LOCK OFF!

Advice To Spammers

When spamming me it is best to write in English, as I tend not to bother translating spam that is in a foreign language.

Advice To Paypal Fraudsters

You might want to spell check you fraudulent emails before you send them out, as the last time I checked "customer" was not spelled "Costommer"!

Oppurtunity Knocks!

Dear scammers,

You will find that "opportunity" is not spelled "oppurtunity"!

Thank you.

02031577156 Scamming Scumbags

Scamming scumbags, claiming to be from Windows, are calling from this number 02031577156.

Block them and report them.

Advice To Scammers

Asking me if I am "dead or alive" in the subject line really is idiotic, even by your standards!

Advice To Barrister Michael Koffigoh

I believe the word you are groping for is "message", not "massage", re the text in the email you sent me:

"PLEASE KINDLY OPEN MY ATTACHMENT READ MY MASSAGE AND GET BACK TO ME IS VERY IMPORTANT IS ABOUT MY LATE CLIENT A CITIZEN OF YOUR COUNTRY."

Cretin!

Advice To Scammers

When trying to convince the gullible and naive that there is a 20 foot container waiting for them at a port, it is advisable to get the technical terms just right.

To this end, you will find that the term is "bill of lading" not "bill of ladin".

Am I Dead yet?

My thanks to the scammer who sent me a message with the following subject line:

"ARE YOU DEAD? IF YOU ARE NOT DEAD CONTACT IMMEDIATELY‏"

As far as I am aware, I am not dead yet. However, dead or alive, I won't waste my time contacting the scammer.