Advice To The DPD Scammer

If you are going to try to scam people, at least learn to spell "courier" and try to lay your email out in a more professional manner!

God Wants Trillions

I received this fascinating missive from "GOD" yesterday, threatening to blow me up along with a number of other things, including my tea!

Rather than just asking for a few thousands, "GOD" goes all in and asks me to transfer trillions to his bank account; he then rounds off his message by calling me "SATAN".

Well that's a new on one me!

Name: GOD

Email: chinacoronavirusdeath@gmail.com

Message:
THE NEW CRIME IS CHINA CORONAVIRUS AND ITS CALLED DEATH. ITS NO WAY YOU CAN RUN AWAY FROM IT BECAUSE YOU ARE SINNERS WHO HAVE NOT REPENTED THEIR SINS TO KING JESUS CHRIST AND NOW ITS TOO LATE. LOCK DOWN THESE EVIL SINNERS FOR 1000 YEARS IN JAIL.
CHINA, NORTH & SOUTH KOREA, JAPAN, THAILAND AND YOU ALL ARE THE DEVIL PARTS THAT BORROWED TRILLIONS OF DOLLARS FROM US. WE WANT OUR MONEY BACK RIGHT NOW IN THE NAME OF KING JESUS CHRIST.
SEND OUR MONEY YOU ALL BORROWED FROM US TO RIGHT NOW. YOU ALREADY HAVE CHINA CORONAVIRUS DEATH AND GOING TO THE LAKE OF THE FIRE SO WHY ARE YOU HOLDING OUR MONEY YOU BORROWED WHEN YOU ARE DEATH.
IF YOU DO NOT SEND OUR MONEY RIGHT NOW IN THE NAME OF KING JESUS CHRIST YOUR BODY, PHONE, COMPUTER, HOUSE, CLOTHES, SHOES, HOT & COLD TEA, BANKS, WAREHOUSE, UNIFORM, EVERYTHING WILL BLOW UP WITH FIRE FROM THE BOMB!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
SEND OUR TRILLIONS OF DOLLARS RIGHT NOW IN THE NAME OF JESUS!
THE BLOOD OF KING JESUS CHRIST AGAINST YOU SATAN!
ROUTING NUMBER 031101279
ACCOUNT NUMBER 222107423613
IN THE NAME OF KING JESUS CHRIST,
 GOD

The Dangers of Spontaneously Combusting Barclays Debit Cards

Advice To Spammers

TURN THE CAPTION LOCK OFF!

Advice To Spammers

When spamming me it is best to write in English, as I tend not to bother translating spam that is in a foreign language.

Advice To Paypal Fraudsters

You might want to spell check you fraudulent emails before you send them out, as the last time I checked "customer" was not spelled "Costommer"!

Oppurtunity Knocks!

Dear scammers,

You will find that "opportunity" is not spelled "oppurtunity"!

Thank you.

02031577156 Scamming Scumbags

Scamming scumbags, claiming to be from Windows, are calling from this number 02031577156.

Block them and report them.

Advice To Scammers

Asking me if I am "dead or alive" in the subject line really is idiotic, even by your standards!

Advice To Barrister Michael Koffigoh

I believe the word you are groping for is "message", not "massage", re the text in the email you sent me:

"PLEASE KINDLY OPEN MY ATTACHMENT READ MY MASSAGE AND GET BACK TO ME IS VERY IMPORTANT IS ABOUT MY LATE CLIENT A CITIZEN OF YOUR COUNTRY."

Cretin!

Advice To Scammers

When trying to convince the gullible and naive that there is a 20 foot container waiting for them at a port, it is advisable to get the technical terms just right.

To this end, you will find that the term is "bill of lading" not "bill of ladin".

Am I Dead yet?

My thanks to the scammer who sent me a message with the following subject line:

"ARE YOU DEAD? IF YOU ARE NOT DEAD CONTACT IMMEDIATELY‏"

As far as I am aware, I am not dead yet. However, dead or alive, I won't waste my time contacting the scammer.

Question For Scammers

I have a couple of questions wrt the "hot new penis pills" that you keep trying to flog me.

- Do you mean the pills are hot (in the sense that they burn), if so they sound dangerous?

- Are the pills to be taken by my penis, if so is that not very uncomfortable?

Advice To Scammers

The phrase "my late husband died" is tautology, if you are going to try to scam someone at least have the wit to do it in a grammatically correct fashion.

Laugh of The Day

Out of all the spam and phishing emails I receive on a daily basis, offering me loans etc, I contend that an "organisation" that purports to call itself "UK COMIC FINANCE" is the least likely to be taken seriously!

Erections of Iron

My thanks to the spammer who keeps offering me a product that will, allegedly, give me "erections of iron".

However, the trouble with iron is that it rusts.

Question Re Penis Pills

My thanks to the spammer who sent me an advert for "cheap penis pills".

However, please could he/she tell me how the hell my penis is meant to take a pill?

Worried About Identity Theft?

Worried about identity theft?

Ask a policeman!

Twitter Hacked

As per Reuters, Twitter has been hacked and the passwords of up to 250,000 accounts have been compromised:

"Anonymous hackers attacked Twitter this week and may have gained access to passwords and other information for as many as 250,000 user accounts, the microblog revealed late on Friday.

Twitter said in a blog post that the passwords were encrypted and that it had already reset them as a "precautionary measure," and that it was in the process of notifying affected users.

The blog post noted recent revelations of large-scale cyber attacks against the New York Times and the Wall Street Journal, but unlike the two news organizations, Twitter did not provide any detail on the origin or methodology of the attacks.

"This attack was not the work of amateurs, and we do not believe it was an isolated incident," Twitter said. "The attackers were extremely sophisticated, and we believe other companies and organizations have also been recently similarly attacked."

Privately held Twitter, which has 200 million active monthly users, said it was working with government and federal law enforcement officials to track down the attackers.

The company did not specifically link the attacks to China in the blog post, in contrast to the New York Times and the Wall Street Journal, which both said the hackers originated in China.

Twitter, the social network known for its 140-character messages, could not speculate on the origin of the attacks as its investigation was ongoing, said spokesman Jim Prosser.

"There is no evidence right now that would indicate that passwords were compromised," said Prosser.

The attack is not the first time that hackers have breached Twitter's systems and gained access to Twitter user information. Twitter signed a consent decree with the Federal Trade Commission in 2010, subjecting the company to 10 years of independent privacy reviews, for failing to safeguard users' personal information."

Advice To The Spammer "Central Bank of Nigeria"

Many thanks for your enquiry, subject line "Are you dead?", please be assured I am not dead!