Stupid Punts!

The improbably named Noel Panga has written to me today, asking me to help him commit fraud by stealing money from a dead person's bank account.

Mr Panga, rather incongruously, adds that this fraud is "100% risk free". Aside from the fact that there is no money, and no dead person, Mr Panga should note that I do not participate in criminal activities.

One other piece of advice for Mr Panga:

"Turn off the capital lock on your keyboard!"

GOOD MORNING.


DON’T BE OFFENDED IF I MAY HAVE DISTURBED YOUR DAILY ACTIVITIES.


MY NAME IS MR NOEL PANGA, I AM A BANKER, AND I WORK WITH THE AFRICAN DEVELOPMENT BANK AS A SENIOR STAFF. I HAVE DECIDED TO CONTACT YOU ON A BUSINESS TRANSACTION THAT WILL BE VERY BENEFICIAL TO BOTH OF US AT THE END OF THE TRANSACTION .


DURING OUR INVESTIGATION AND AUDITING IN THIS BANK, MY DEPARTMENT CAME ACROSS A VERY HUGE SUM OF MONEY BELONGING TO A DECEASED PERSON WHO DIED IN A PLANE CRASH AND THE FUND HAS BEEN DORMANT IN HIS ACCOUNT WITH THIS BANK WITHOUT ANY CLAIM OF THE FUND IN OUR CUSTODY EITHER FROM HIS FAMILY OR RELATION BEFORE OUR DISCOVERY TO THIS DEVELOPMENT.


THE SAID AMOUNT WAS U.S 18.4M (EIGHTEEN MILLION,FOUR HUNDRED THOUSAND UNITED STATES DOLLARS). AS IT MAY INTEREST YOU TO KNOW, I GOT YOUR IMPRESSIVE CONTACTS THROUGH INTERNET. MEANWHILE ALL THE WHOLE ARRANGEMENT TO PUT CLAIM OVER THIS FUND AS THE BONAFIDE NEXT OF KIN TO THE DECEASED, AND TRANSFER THIS MONEY TO A FOREIGN ACCOUNT HAS BEEN PUT IN PLACE. THE DIRECTIVES AND NEEDED INFORMATION WILL BE RELAYED TO YOU AS SOON AS YOU INDICATE YOUR INTEREST AND WILLINGNESS TO ASSIST ME, AND ALSO BENEFIT YOUR SELF TO THIS GREAT BUSINESS OPPORTUNITY.


IN FACT I COULD HAVE DONE THIS DEAL ALONE BUT BECAUSE OF MY POSITION IN THIS COUNTRY AS A CIVIL SERVANT(A BANKER),WE ARE NOT ALLOWED TO OPERATE A FOREIGN ACCOUNT AND WOULD EVENTUALLY RAISE AN EYE BROW ON MY SIDE DURING THE TIME OF TRANSFER BECAUSE I WORK IN THIS BANK. THIS IS THE ACTUAL REASON WHY IT WILL REQUIRE A SECOND PARTY OR FELLOW WHO WILL FORWARD CLAIMS AS THE NEXT OF KIN WITH AFFIDAVIT OF TRUST OF OATH TO THE BANK AND ALSO PRESENT A FOREIGN ACCOUNT WHERE HE WILL NEED THE MONEY TO BE RE-TRANSFERRED INTO ON HIS REQUEST AS IT MAY BE AFTER DUE VERIFICATION AND CLARIFICATION BY THE CORRESPONDENT BRANCH OF THE BANK WHERE THE WHOLE MONEY WILL BE REMITTED FROM TO YOUR OWN DESIGNATION BANK ACCOUNT.


I WILL NOT FAIL TO INFORM YOU THAT THIS TRANSACTION IS 100% RISK FREE.ON SMOOTH CONCLUSION OF THIS TRANSACTION, YOU WILL BE ENTITLED TO 40% OF THE TOTAL SUM AS GRATIFICATION, WHILE 10% WILL BE SET ASIDE TO TAKE CARE OF EXPENSES THAT MAY ARISE DURING THE TIME OF TRANSFER AND ALSO TELEPHONE AND INTERNET BILLS, WHILE 50% WILL BE FOR ME. PLEASE, YOU HAVE BEEN ADVICED TO KEEP "TOP SECRET" AS I AM STILL IN SERVICE AND INTEND TO RETIRE FROM SERVICE AFTER WE CONCLUDE THIS DEAL WITH YOU.


I WILL BE MONITORING THE WHOLE SITUATION HERE IN THIS BANK UNTIL YOU CONFIRM THE MONEY IN YOUR ACCOUNT AND ASK ME TO COME DOWN TO YOUR COUNTRY FOR SUBSEQUENT SHARING OF THE FUND ACCORDING TO PERCENTAGES PREVIOUSLY INDICATED AND FURTHER INVESTMENT, EITHER IN YOUR COUNTRY OR ANY COUNTRY YOU ADVICE US TO INVEST IN. ALL OTHER NECESSARY VITAL NFORMATION WILL BE SENT TO YOU WHEN I HEAR FROM YOU.


IF THE TRANSACTION INTEREST YOU, GET BACK TO ME WITH YOUR PHONE NUMBER TO CALL YOU SO WE COULD PROCEED.


THANKS.

MR NOEL PANGA.